


Coffee Stains

by BlinderDevilsWoman



Series: Coffee Stains & Blood Trails [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes is a jackass, Bucky is a jerk, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, From hate to love, Hate to Love, Slow Burn, Super Serum Baby, Unplanned Pregnancy, Violence, Winter soldier baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:28:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 38,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27513082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlinderDevilsWoman/pseuds/BlinderDevilsWoman
Summary: Your first meeting with Sergeant Barnes wasn't exactly charming, hell, it was a disaster. And the only adjectives that came to your mind when you thought about him were words like prick, bastard and a jackass.He made your life hell, and you lived to make sure you made him suffer.And neither of you realized, how your sole mission of tormenting each other became the most important part of your life.Set somewhere after Avengers Civil War. My book does not follow the storyline, and will not include the vents of Infinity War and Endgame. I do not take credit for any of the characters, except for my OC/Reader.Please go through the warnings and the trigger tags before reading [Mature 18+]
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, james bucky barnes - Relationship
Series: Coffee Stains & Blood Trails [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2027837
Comments: 57
Kudos: 119





	1. Chapter 1

You almost didn't realize how late it was; the sun had set hours back, and the moon was now shining bright, pale white glow radiating from its cheeks like White ivory spread over the ground outside. You finally decided to stop working, and instead head home. So, you shut your laptop, pushing your glasses over the bridge of your nose, and finally stood up. The SHEILD headquarters was still hustling and bustling with people. People kept walking past your office door, most of them in a hurry as you joined them in the hallway, making your way towards the elevator.

Your father had worked for SHEILD, having been one of the building blocks, along with Nick Fury, and now you, being his daughter, there was nothing more you had ever wanted to do but to dedicate yourself entirely to SHEILD. So here you were, associated with SHEILD, for almost two years now.

You didn't realize when in the bubble of your mind, the kinesis of your thoughts, a woman had stepped out of her office and was making her way towards you, but not after having called your name almost three times. When she reached the elevator, she let out a soft huff, which was enough to finally put you out of your trance.

"Maria, I'm sorry, didn't see you there," you retorted, a little flustered and pink at the cheeks.

The woman almost gave you a tight lipped smile, and slowly, her long, slender arms came to cross on her chest, her left foot almost tapping against the tiled floor of the headquarters, "I've been calling your name, you didn't respond. You alright?"

You thought for a moment, your glossy eyes looking down at her feet before back up on her face again, and nodded, "Yeah, yeah, just thinking. Is there anything you needed?"

"Not me, Fury wanted to see you before you left."

You nodded, pursing your lips slightly and gave her a ghost of a smile before taking a step back and craning your neck towards Fury's office once and then back, " Well then, I guess I'll pay the boss a visit." The two of you exchanged a light hearted chuckle, and you waved Maria off as she stepped into the elevator with two more agents, and you slowly made your way up to Nick Fury's office.

You stood awkwardly at the glass door, bringing your palm up to the glass and knocking on it. Inside the office, the bald headed man with a patch on one of his eyes slowly looked up, and when he saw you, a hint of a smile broke out on his lips as he nodded, and you stepped in.

"You wanted to see me?"

You and Fury shared an easy going relation; he reminded you of your dad, for the two of them had served together before your dad was killed in action, and ever since, Nick Fury had taken it upon himself, to make sure you were always treated the right way, and to be the father figure in your life.

"Come on in Y/N, I wanted to speak to you."

Shutting the door, you walked up to where he was seated and slowly lowered yourself on the empty chair in front of him, your elbows coming to rest on the surface of the desk.

"So– " He began, sitting back more comfortably, and also to keep a better eye at your expressions and reactions, "With Natasha Romanoff out of a mission, the Avengers are in need of a dire back up agent."

Your eyebrow shot up at his words, not understanding where he was getting at. As though he sensed your confusion, he continued, "A position is open. The Avengers are looking for someone to join the team. And I recommended your name."

It was as though your ears managed to block out every word that Fury said except for the part that he had recommended your name. Avengers had only been a distant dream for you till now. They really intrigued you; and you had done your research on almost everyone of them, except for the newbies of course that you hadn't had the chance to meet. Your lips parted in surprise, and a soft gush of air managed to escape your lips.

"Fury, I – I don't know."

"They asked us for the best we've got, and although it's been a long time we've sent you on our mission, you're the best we've got. I couldn't say no," he chuckled, trying to lighten the mood for he was now able to sense that you were starting to get nervous.

"Holy shit." You finally managed to form words, not the best choice of words that you could have formed, but you were so surprised, you didn't know what to say.

"Rest up, Y/N. Tomorrow, we go to the Avengers Towers, and meet your new team."

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

The next day, you woke up earlier than you usually did, but you knew that it was your part excitement part anxiety bubbling up that had kept you tossing and turning in bed all night. You had gone over all the possible scenarios that could happen today, at the Avengers Towers, on why the Avengers would think that you weren't cut out for this. You were really good, there was no doubt about that; you were trained in hand to hand combat, espionage, you were good with weapons, with the small guns and also the big ones; you could say you were pretty good with your sniping skills. But, you hadn't been on a mission for the SHEILD in a long time, especially not after your messy divorce with Wallis, your ex husband who had been your colleague and your partner at SHEILD, the one person you always went on missions with. It had taken you a long time to come out of the emotional trauma that came with a separation, and to worsen it all, he had been the one that you had caught with another woman in your bed, on a night you almost escaped death, on one of your solo missions.

You were already dressed and ready by the time you were picked up and dropped off at the Stark Towers, with Fury by your side.

You wouldn't lie if you would say that you were starstruck, by just a look at the exterior of it. It was heavenly. And the interior. You didn't even want to comment on it, it was that breathtaking, a complete opposite to the SHEILD headquarters.

"Like it?" Fury chuckled next to you, breaking your thought process, and a faint hue of a blush to grace your cheeks. As the two of you got into the elevator, you turned around and gasped slightly at the sight of the entire city of Manhattan right there in front of your eyes, from a little glass box.

"Friday, Tony's lab, please. Thank you."

"Right away, Director, and Miss Y/N," the AI chortled back, causing your eyes to widen even further. Friday was like a celebrity to you, and now finally you were here, at a place you had only dreamt of being, and the reality was slowly sinking in.

The elevator pinged open, and Fury was the first one to step out, followed by you as the two of you walked into what looked like a really high technology lab. Your eyes marvelled at the sight, and you just looked around, your eyes scanning through it all, your mind still in a daze.

"Welcome, welcome to my humble abode," there he was, the man himself, the man behind all of this, the famous Tony Stark. Although you had met him before, and Steve and Natasha as well, it was back at the SHEILD headquarters.

"Tony Stark, long time no see."

"Well, I've been busy you see," he smirked smugly at you, but soon, a small smile paved its way over his lips and he slowly engulfed you in a warm hug.

"Welcome home, I always did say to Fury."

"What?" You raised an eyebrow, side glancing your boss, who was, for a change, having a smile of his own over his lips.

"You always belonged with us, here at the Avengers Towers. He never really let you go," he gave Fury a look and then, his friendly demeanor altogether changed and a professional look took over his face, his features turning stoic. "Now Fury have you spoken to her about her trainings?"

"Not yet."

"Great, so–" Tony dramatically clapped his hands together, "With a great position comes great responsibilities."

"With power you mean?" You chuckled.

"Yes yes. And that," he winked playfully, only to straighten up again. "But that power needs to be harnessed. You will be put into training, like all the newbies we get and we will get to decide when and if you have what it takes to be one of us.

Fury nodded, and you looked at him, noting how he was beaming at you, like a proud father, causing your confidence to boost up as you nodded in Tony's direction.

"When do we start?"

"Hold that thought, ah, Friday? Can you please ask Captain to join us, please?"

"Right away, Mr. Stark." The AI replied.

"Well then, so that fixes it."

A comfortable silence fell over the lab and Tony walked off to look at something on one of his screens. You fixed yourself by the glass staring out at the picturesque view of the city of Manhattan. It wasn't long when you heard heavy footsteps behind you, and finally when you heard Fury greet Steve, you realized he had joined the lot of you. The minute you turned around, your eyes fell on him and with a soft smile, you nodded in his direction, "Mr. Rogers."

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

Bucky wasn't having the best day.

At first, he had woken up to bone chilling nightmare. If that wasn't all, he had taken his motorcycle out for a ride, and somehow he had parked it when he had reached the cliff, and made his way to the edge to just stare at the horizon, when someone had somehow.managed to steal the bike. And if that wasn't the worst part of the day, he was sexually frustrated and utterly sex deprived as he had just returned yesterday from almost a month long mission.

Sam being the nice person he was, had tried to warn most of te people to stay out of Bucky's way today; because today, he was really biting.

But he really hadn't warned you.

Because he still didn't know who you were.

After having met with Steve in Tony's lab, Fury had left, and Steve had opted to walk you around the facility, until he had dropped you off at your apartment on the seventh floor. He had told you that you were to share this floor with a few of the Avengers, but he was in a hurry so he had asked you to come find him later in the evening. Besides, you had to be ready to train with him today at 7 in the evening.

It was already 5 by the time you stepped into your apartment; your eyes widening in awe when you saw the interior of it. The furniture was sleek and modern, made out of the best quality of wood there could be, and the walls were painted a spotless white, numerous abstract paintings hanging on the walls.

You gotta hand it to Tony, the man sure did have a taste.

It didn't take you long to fill the walk in closet up with your clothes, and even after filling up the two bags that you had brought over, you couldn't help but marvel at how much space the closet still had for more stuff, giving you an inspiration to shop for a dozen more outfits. However, now wasn't the time to think about it, and instead you decided to grab yourself a mug of coffee from the kitchen, so you could be alert and fresh for your training session with Captain.

Whistling to yourself, and with the help of Friday, you did manage to find your way to the massive kitchen, adjoining the spacious recreation room that was empty when you reached. Walking into the kitchen, you filled up your mug with piping hot coffee to the brim, and lifted the mug up, walking out of the kitchen.

Little did you know that a mistake was bound to happen on your first day here.

Bucky had just stepped out of the gym, dressed in a tight white tank top and his joggers, his hair all sweaty and sticking to his face. At first he had decided to hop right into the shower, and maybe get a little frisky, but at the last moment, he finally gave up on that idea, having decided to stall the shower for a little more time so he could grab himself a granola bar from the kitchen.

Although his feet made a lot of ruckus as he walked into the recreation room, and towards the kitchen, but perhaps you were so engrossed in licking your lips, eyeing the mug of coffee in your hands that you failed to hear him come in.

You stepped out of the kitchen at the exact same time when he tried to enter, and you ended up crashing into him, your hot coffee spilling all over his white tank, causing a massive stain.

Bucky cursed as the coffee came in contact with his flesh, a faint hissing sound escaping from his lips, which was probably due to the burn that he could now feel on his abs. His eyes turned venomous instantly, and his face contorted in fury.

"Even with a pair of glasses on, you still cannot watch where you going?" He barked at you, in a rude tone.

You looked at the stain on his abs, and then back up at him, not failing to notice the blue in his eyes, mentally cursing yourself for how clumsy you were.

"I – I'm really sorry, I –" You started stammering, only to be cut off by him again.

"Your _sorry_ won't fix the mess you made, would it?" Sarcasm dripped through his words, and now, you were starting to feel how this man was simply overreacting. You spilling a piping hot mug of coffee over him wasn't really that much of a big deal, was it?

"Let me wash it –"

"We have machines that does that stuff for us, you really don't have to bother. Now, if you don't mind, you are in my way," the blue eyed man simply huffed, his face slowly turning cold and emotionless, as he crossed his arms over his chest, watching you and waiting for you to move out of his way. Maybe you weren't that fast in moving; and you understood this but the impatience in this man shocked you; when you felt him roughly push himself past you, ignoring the way you fell to your side by the weight of his body, almost crashing against the doorframe and hurting your side.

"Really? Did you just fucking push me?"

This time, you turned around, your eyes contorted in fury, and your lips laced together, in a hope that pressing your lips together like that would stop your curses from flowing out.

"Would you rather have had me jump over you? You aren't exactly small."

He had his back now turned towards you, his body bent over the fridge as he callously moved his hands through the contents of the fridge.

"Prick."

Shaking your head, you took a step away, leaving the now empty mug of coffee on the slab before making your way out of the kitchen.

You were fuming.


	2. Chapter 2

Your anger still lingered inside of you like a deep rooted worm, even after you had stepped into the warm soothing shower, after your encounter with whoever the fuck that man was. You were still annoyed, and you were sure as hell worried that your mood might end up affecting your performance at the training today. You stood in your room, the pads of your feet nestled onto the feathery carpet that adorned the floor of your apartment, semi dressed when you heard Friday. 

"Miss Y/N, Captain is here, waiting for you." 

You frowned, wondering if it was already 7 and somehow, you had lost the track of time, but you noted that it was still 6: 40 pm by the clock. 

"Thank you, Friday," that was the fastest you had ever gotten into your yoga pants, pulling it over your round bum, the elastic strap stinging against your soft fleshy belly as it hit it with a slap. The towel still rolled over your hair, you ran up to the door and flung it open, only to see Steve standing there with two people you didn't know of and who were probably newbies like you. 

"Y/N, how are you holding up?" Steve asked in soft voice, and somehow you found your previous anger slowly melting away. 

"Great, Steve. I thought I'm late on my first day," your lips now crept upwards in a grin, and Steve just shook his head, his hand flying to the back of his head as he ran his fingers through his blond locks. 

"I thought I'd introduce you to the two of them, they were the only ones I could find lurking in the recreation room, so I dragged them here." 

"No, you did not, I was the one that insisted I wanted to meet the newbie," the dark haired girl just winked playfully in your direction, and you couldn't help but snort at her words when you saw Steve's face turn crimson like a cherry. 

"I'm Wanda, well, people around here might call me stuff like Sokovian witchy and all that, but when they're saying that, consider it is me they're talking about." The woman threw out her hand towards you, her hand extended in a shake, and you took her hand, feeling a comfortable warmth radiating from her. Wanda then turned towards the one to her right, and smiled, "Well this one doesn't talk much, but you'll like him." 

"Hello Miss Y/N, my name is Vision, and I have taken it upon myself to welcome you to our team." 

"Thank you Vision, it's my pleasure." You shook his hand; the little meet and greet causing you to temporarily forget about the man; the stranger you had met in the kitchen a few minutes back.

Steve's thick voice reaching your ears caused you to turn towards him, and you saw him looking at the trio of you with a small smile playing on his lips. 

"Well, I'll leave you guys to it– " He took a step away, his front turned towards you, but his steps moving backwards until he was now a good distance away, " Y/N, I will expect you to be at the training room in ten minutes." With that, his heavy footsteps retreated away, until you couldn't hear him anymore, and you were left standing with Wanda and Vision, on your doorstep. 

"Around here, punctuality is the key. And in general," Vision began.

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

Vision and Wanda lingered around in your apartment for the next ten minutes along with you, talking to you about the life at the Avengers Towers and how you got used to it once you had started adjusting. 

"After a while, it feels like you are living with your roommates, except the fact that they all are superheroes," Wanda chuckled, as she watched you place your glasses away and pull out your contact lenses and fix them into your eyes.

Exactly nine minutes later, you left your apartment, and slowly started making you way towards the training room with your newly found friends, who you realized just couldn't stop bantering and talking amongst themselves; and it was cute, not in a way you felt left out. The three of you made your way to the fourth floor, and towards the training room when Wanda and Vision finally parted ways with you as it was time for their own training as well, leaving you alone.

It wasn't long before you reached the training room, but before you could step in, you heard muffled voices from the inside, until you strained your ears a little and an automatically induced frown found its way to your forehead. 

"What's gotten you so grumpy today, Buck?" 

Steve. 

The other voice that replied wasn't one of the voices you really wished to hear again.

"What's with Stark hiring all the weirdos found in NYC? I can't believe my best tshirt got ruined." 

"Come on Buck, it was a tshirt. And besides, I'm sure it was an accident." 

"Who the hell cares what it was, if I was Stark, I would have fired her lousy ass right away." 

"Buck, language." 

You couldn't believe this piece of shit was still stuck over what had happened that afternoon. You couldn't say you had forgotten about it, but atleast you were acting all grown up and weren't bitching about it to anyone. And here he was, bitching around with none other than your mentor. This day was getting worse and worse, and you internally begged to call it a day and disappear into your apartment so you could peacefully spend your night curled in that soft, mushy pillows and the silken sheets. 

You cleared your throat, intentionally, so you could announce your presence and as if on cue, Bucky's head snapped in your direction and his scowl widened, making him narrow his eyes at you. 

"You again? The hell you following me around for? If you're here to apologize– " 

Steve's eyes widened when he sensed the tension slowly rising in the room and it wasn't like he was daft. Having put the two and two together, he understood now that the person responsible for putting Bucky in this foul mood had been you, well not intentionally. 

"Buck, easy. She is our newest recruit. Thank you for being on time, Agent." 

Bucky took a double take, his eyes raking over you, in a very obvious way; and not in a sexual kind of a way but in a way to believe that he was truly shocked. This annoyed you even more and your fingers clenched against your sides. 

"You got to be kidding me, punk. She can't even walk straight while holding a darn mug of coffee." 

That's it, you had it with him taking continuous digs at you. 

"You know, you deserved it. And now I wish it wasn't just coffee but something way worse. Probably horse piss," you literally spat and if it wasn't for Steve who had now fixed himself in front of you, blocking the two of you from slamming anything you could lay your hands on, into each other's faces, things would have gotten messy in the training room within seconds. 

"Bucky–" he warned, his palm outstretched towards him, glaring at him, "we have to train now." 

He then turned towards you, his expression reflecting a bit of disappointment in his orbs, "Y/N, I expect atleast one of you to be sensible, and if not, then cordial, he is a senior in here." 

It suddenly clicked in the back of your head. You had watched the coverage of the Battle of Triskelion on TV. So, this was him, that ass, Winter Soldier. Of course, this man had issues, like really serious ones. But that didn't excuse the way he was behaving with you. But also, you knew that Steve was right. There was no point in engaging with him, so you decided to just be cordial, if it meant not having to deal with his shit anymore. 

"Fine." You grumbled, almost under your breath. 

Running your hand through your short shoulder length (Y/H/C) hair, you finally walked up to where Steve was standing, already in the Captain America mode now. 

"Today, we'll test your hand to hand combat skills," you heard him say and you nodded your head, zoning out all the unwanted presences in the training room, although you could feel Bucky's piercing gaze on you. You knew he wanted to watch you fail, and falter but you weren't going to give him a chance.

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

Sweat drenched down your face, dripping off your neck, as you shifted the weight of your body and threw out your fisted palm towards your mentor, with a sudden looping overhand, but Steve managed to block your punch, his own aim now towards your nose. Your reflexes had kicked in, causing you to duck at the right time and block his punch, at the same time managing to knock him off his feet with your foot thrown out. 

Captain America was hard to beat, but so were you.

The distance had once again taken its place in front of the two of you, and the two of you were ready for another round, and you were glancing at your opponent, analyzing what he was thinking, what his next moves were. He was subdued, the weight of his body shifted to his left, his eyes narrowed at you, probably ready to attack, but you couldn't be sure; maybe he wanted you to attack first, and then he would counter you. 

Suddenly, he lunged at you, his fists aimed in an attack and you had been wrong there, to study his body language, and even worse, when you let yourself get distracted when you heard a low, meenacing and annoying voice reach out to you, "Agent.. are you sure you can see Steve, because you don't seem to have your glasses on. Not that you know where to go even with them on." 

Your eyes flew to him in disbelief and your mouth curved into a perfect O, making you lose your fighting stance, and your guard. Steve was already fast, and when he heard Bucky's taunt, he tried to shoot him a sharp glare for distracting you, but he couldn't stop himself, he was so in momentum, his heavy palm cracked against your abs, throwing you away, down on the mat with a force you didn't think was possible. 

Steve threw his hands in the air, as he rushed over to you, kneeling down beside you, to check if you were alright, but you gave him a tight lipped smile and nodded, sitting upright, shooting Bucky a glare. 

"I didn't know they taught you these cheap tactics of distracting people back at the army, Sergeant." 

Bucky smiled, leaning forward slightly, so his elbows were resting against his knees, his lips stretched into what looked like an evil smirk. 

"Weak people always find excuses, one way or the other. You let yourself get distracted." 

He stood up, with slow steps, walking over towards you. By that time, you had lifted yourself off the mat, and your hands had flown to your hips, your neck held upright. Bucky stepped onto the mat, moving in front of Steve, who had opened his mouth in protest, but hadn't yet said anything, until Bucky was in your face, giving you a stare down. 

"This is the real deal. I don't know where you came from or what you did. But this is the real deal. There will be real enemies, and they will do everything on their part to distract you. There is no room for weakness here." 

Suddenly, a feeling of dread washed over you, it wasn't exactly dread, but it was something else all together, like a sudden burst of adrenaline , perhaps provoked by his words, but also because of his close proximity. You hadn't realized till that moment, and perhaps, neither had he, but he was so close, you could feel his hot breath on your face which caused your eyes to involuntarily fall over his lips for a second, and then back up, until you caught him smirking down at you, probably basking in his little mountain of victory. 

You only thanked Steve inwardly, when he suddenly stepped in, breaking whatever this moment was, when he grabbed Bucky's palm and pulled him away from you, his eyes now on him, a look passing between the two of them that you couldn't decipher. Maybe it was a best friend thing between them, something only the two of them knew of. 

"Buck, that's enough, she was good, and you know she was." 

"I agree." 

When a foreign voice sounded in the room, the three heads involuntarily snapped in that direction, only to find Sam Wilson leaning against the door, a half eaten apple in his hand, and his mouth moving as he was chewing on it. 

"What?" He shrugged, his voice sounding unclear as his mouth was completely stuffed, "that was the Captain that she just fought. And I am impressed." 

Your expressions softened, and a smile broke out on your lips and you nodded towards Sam, who nodded back with his eyes twinkling at you.

Bucky shrugged and finally, he let his shoulders relax, and shot you a quick look, "I don't think so. I think you just went soft on her." 

You scoffed in disbelief, biting your lower lip to bite back from barking back at him and moved away from the mat to grab a chilled bottle of water that lay on a table. Your fingers worked on the bottle and at the same time, your eyes remained on Bucky, and Sam who had now joined the two of the super soldiers. You could see that Steve was trying to knock some sense into Bucky, tell him how he was just overdoing it, but Bucky just deadpanned, his glare fixed on you until he again took a dig at you, and this time you couldn't take it. 

"Did it hurt? That blow to your –" He pointed his index finger towards his abs, that cocky smirk still draped over his lips, "Now maybe that's payback, for almost burning me a few hours back." 

His words caused you to almost tighten your grip on the bottle, the grip so hard, the plastic of the bottle almost shrank. You took a deep breath, taking one step towards him, slowly, before your pace rose, and you were striding towards him, your eyes brewing with anger. The bottle was still in your hand, the cap laying abandoned on the table, so when you were sure you were at a close proximity from him, you tipped the bottle, letting the cold water drain through his tshirt, right on his abs, drenching him completely. 

"There you go, I think it won't burn now, I feel I should have done that hours back, atleast you wouldn't be crying about it till now." 

Steve closed his eyes, his palm flying to his face as he swiped his hand over his face. He knew that things were going to get murky now, and things had gotten out of hand, which is why his grip on Bucky's arm tightened. Bucky was seething, partly in rage, and partly due to a sudden flush of what he could only name as embarrassment, while Sam was openly smirking at what he had just witnessed. 

A woman had managed to shut the Winter Soldier up, and how, with cold water right on his burns. 

Today was a good day.


	3. Chapter 3

A bright hue of orange yellow filled your room, a ray of sunlight seeping through a crevice in your curtains. It was too bright to keep sleeping soundly any longer, and besides, you had an alarm set up for 7 in the morning, so you could go out for your morning run, and get back in time to get yourself a nice breakfast.

You sat up in bed, grumbling and groaning at the soreness you were now feeling where you had felt Steve's hard blow. Your eyes moved down, as you rolled up your t-shirt, and stared at the bluish bruise that had seemed to form over your abs. It was only then when you realized, when your eyes fell on the clock, that you had slept in, and it was already ten minutes past 9. You hopped out of bed, almost managing to fall face first to the floor, as your foot was still entangled in the sheets.

Dressed in your PJs, without even bothering to run your hands through your hair, you slid your glasses over the bridge of nose and walked out of your apartment. You needed coffee, and you needed food; you were starving, and your stomach was rumbling loud enough for the entire towers to hear.

When you entered the recreation room, a wafting aroma of waffles and bacon filled your nostrils, making you almost lick your lips.

"Morning, Y/N," Wanda greeted in a chirpy voice, causing your head to snap towards her. She was sitting on the dining table, her plate of food kept in front of her, her fingers curled against a glass of grape juice as she brought it up to her lips and took a sip, her eyes fixed on you. "Good sleep?"

"Not really. I feel like shit. I need an effing coffee first."

Wanda hummed in agreement and went back to relishing her breakfast while you lazily tumbled into the kitchen, where Tony was already brewing himself one.

"Morning, junior. Had a good sleep?"

"Junior? I'm no one's junior, Stark." You hissed at him, almost ready to snatch the coffee that he had made for himself but he was swift, he pulled it off the slab before you could grab it.

"Well, you've replaced Wanda as our new junior, until our next recruit decides to join us," he chuckled, reaching out and ruffling your hair, ending up making you even more grumpier than you had been before. You kept watching him with a scowl as he walked out, leaving you alone to brew yourself your mug of coffee.

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

Bucky stormed through the seventh floor hallway, having just stepped out of his apartment that happened to be next to yours but you still had no clue about that. He was angry, his shoulders were tense and his mind was occupied; he kept playing the events of yesterday like a movie at the back of his mind. You stepped closer, splashed him with chilled water and he could do nothing, rather, although he could have done a lot of things, he just kept watching you until you had left.

A war was waging at the back of his mind, and he was already working on ways he could get back at you, after what you did.

He ran his calloused hands through his loose strands, as he made his way towards the gym to work out and get this damn thoughts out of his mind. But this definitely wasn't going to happen for his eyes fell on you the minute he entered the gym.

You hadn't seen him yet, for you had your ear pods on, and you were running on the treadmill, with Sam lifting weights a few steps away from you. Bucky cleared his throat, causing Sam to look up into the mirror and then towards you, wondering if you had seen him yet.

By now, probably the entire Stark Towers knew that you were on a cold war with Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.

You had seen him through the mirror, but you were ignoring him. As long as you had your music on, he couldn't invade your privacy and make your life hell so you decided to ignore him, and continue running on the treadmill, although you kept following his movements, with your eyes. You watched him as he made his way to the bench press and sat down on the bench. You could see his lips moving, which you assumed that he was either speaking to Sam, or to Friday, to get the song changed, which was actually the latter one. Finally, he laid down flat on his back on the bench press, gripping the bar, his fingers coiling securely around it.

He slowly brought the bar down to his chest, as he breathed in. You didn't realise you were gawking at him for some reason through the mirrors, and wondering how effortless this whole thing looked on him. You also didn't realize that Sam was staring at you staring at Bucky in the mirror, giving you a side smirk until you abruptly removed the gaze from Bucky and slowly started unwinding yourself to get off the treadmill. You stepped off the treadmill when it finally came to a halt, and made your way to where the dumbbells were. Fixing yourself in front of the mirror, you started working on your arms.

Bucky had by now moved to the cross trainer, and you were waiting for Sam to get done with the deadlifts so you could get a chance. While you were waiting, you decided you would go get yourself a quick drink.

"Sam, don't let anyone take over. It's my turn next." You visibly said it out aloud, noticing Bucky almost roll his eyes at you through the mirror.

"Sure, I'm almost done anyway. What weights do you want? I'll do it for you while you're gone."

Your workout routine comprised of two twenty five kg bumper plates and the fifteen kg bar. You told Sam the same, not noticing that Bucky was also listening in on the conversation. You then turned away, your shoes flapping against the wooden floorboards until you had disappeared.

This was Bucky's queue. He quickly hopped off the cross trainer, tossing a plain white towel over his shoulder and round his neck. He walked up to Sam who was placing the twenty five kg bumper plate on the left side of the bar. Giving him one quick glance, he walked towards a cabinet, pulling out the tiny sticky notes and a marker, roughly scribbling the words 15 kg on two of them.

He walked back again, and bent down next to Sam, who raised an eyebrow, giving him a suspicious look.

"What are you upto?"

"Just wait, and watch the fun."

Bucky placed the sticky notes on top of the 25 kg, changing it now to 15 kg, repeating the same for the other bumper plate as well.

"Hey! That's not right! Why you doing that for?" Sam pointed out, trying to reach for the sticker but Bucky just swatted his arm away.

"Shut the hell up, and dare you open your mouth when she comes back."

"This is dangerous, Bucky. She can break her back," Sam mumbled.

"10 kgs more ain't gonna break her damn back, Wilson. Besides, if she can't lift another twenty, she really doesn't deserve to be here." Bucky stood up finally, and slapped his hands together, moving away from it and towards the bench where he had now lowered himself and was waiting, his elbows resting on his knees, as he started scrolling through his phone. He only looked up when he heard footsteps approaching the gym, and he glared at Sam, eyeing him, and warning him not to open his mouth.

You stepped back in, ignoring Bucky as you twisted the cap of the energy drink and took a few sips before closing it again and letting it rest next to the weights.

"Thanks Sam," you winked at him, and watched him look at you, with a weird look on his face that you couldn't decipher. However, when you noticed the stickers on the bumper plates, a frown creased on your forehead, "Sam, you forgot, I had asked for a twenty five, not fifteen."

Sam almost opened his mouth to speak, but Bucky gave him such a glare, he just sheepishly ran his palm through the back of his head, and gave you a nervous chuckle, "I might have forgotten."

"Nevermind," you gave him a tight lipped smile and bent to grab two bumper plates of ten kgs each, quickly rolling them over the bar. You took a deep breath, and slid your ear pods back on into your ears, positioning yourself next to the deadlifts. You sat back, pushing your bum out, as though you were going to sit on an invisible stool, your knees and hips bent as you reached down to grab the barbell.

A loose grunt escaped your lips, and Sam's eyes widened while Bucky almost snorted, but tried to cover it up with a cough. Your hands were fiercely gripping the barbell but you could feel a bead of sweat trickle down against your forehead. You had been lifting 75 kgs for a long time now and today you were feeling that something wasn't right.

Yet, you took a deep breath, and steadied your stance once again, finally grunting and puffing up your cheeks, you stood up, bringing the bar up with you, the bar dragging along your shins on the way up. It was difficult, but you were able to do it.

A sharp exhale shot out of Sam's mouth, causing Bucky's attention to snap from your form, that he didn't know he was literally now staring at. He had wanted you to fail, but now, he didn't know anymore. He was actually enjoying watching you like this. He didn't realize he was staring, at the same time, moistening his dry lips with his tongue when Sam distracted him. When his eyes fell on Sam, for some weird reason, his eyebrow twitched. Sam was watching you, his eyes trained to your ass, as he was watching you work out.

"Sam. I thought you were done?" Bucky's voice suddenly filled the room; at the same time, you let the barbell drop to the mat with a loud thud, gasping for air as you moved away from it.

"What?" You asked, eyeing both Sam and Bucky as they were looking at you, and the both of them just shrugged so you ignored them and grabbing your energy drink , propped yourself on the bench where Bucky was sitting at and started chilling.

  
╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

Bucky stared at the blonde in front of his eyes; she was one of the agents that worked here, but all she did was the paperwork. She had been throwing these glances towards him recently and he had been rolling his eyes at her, annoyed to be even getting that attention from her. He didn't consider them his type but for some reason, he licked his lips this time, when his eyes raked over her slender frame, causing him to let out a soft gush or air from his lips.

Clearing his throat, he walked up to where the agent was standing, hunched over a desk, until she heard his voice, and a scarlet hue took over her cheeks.

"Sergeant Barnes–"

"Uh, I just wanted to check if –" Bucky mumbled, but his brain froze, and he couldn't come up with a good excuse. He frowned at himself, mentally cursing himself at how great he used to be in picking up girls back in the 1940s.

"–If, uh, Natasha Romanoff is back from her mission?"

 _Yeah, how pathetic was that?_ He thought to himself.

"Miss Romanoff isn't coming back for another week now," Bucky could note the way she was curling her index finger around a loose strand of her hair, which was a clear indication that she wanted him to ask her out. _Who was he kidding, he was literally fighting an urge to grab her with his metal arm and pin her against the wall, tearing her clothes apart._

"Uh, I also wanted to ask you if you wanted to –" Bucky couldn't say it out loud, and he had no idea why.

It was only when the girl suddenly threw herself on him, her lips slamming ferociously on his, did he finally wrap his metal arm around her waist to hold her securely.

"Let's take this to my apartment, doll."

After your workout, you had retired to your apartment, snuggled up under your covers, with your favourite book in your hand. You didn't have the training for another five hours now, and you had the time to chill. You didn't realize when, while reading, your eyes fluttered shut, and you dozed off into a deep slumber, snoring lightly until a sudden thump from the other side of the wall woke you up.

You felt dizzy and disoriented, but you crept out from underneath your covers and stood up, stretching into a wide yawn when a high pitched moan reached your ears. Your nose scrunched up in annoyance, and since you had no idea who stayed in the apartment next to you, you shook your head wondering who this person was, who couldn't even wait for the night to actually have a little time of fun.

Maybe out of spite, and out of jealousy at the lack of an active sex life; hell you didn't date anyone ever since your nasty divorce almost two years back with Wallis, you strode up to the wall and banged your palm hard against the wall, screaming at the top of your lungs, "Hey, can you bloody keep it down there? I'm trying to take a nap."

You had only stepped away now, and were making your way towards the bathroom, smirking to yourself in victory, that the noises had died down when suddenly, the voices were back again, and this time, they were even louder than what you had heard the last time.

Frustrated, you huffed in defeat, slamming the bathroom shut.

Almost half an hour later, you stepped out of your apartment, having decided to go out and explore the city a little, maybe meet a few of your friends and have a drink when at the same time, the door to the next apartment opened and your eyes widened, when you saw Bucky step out, his hair disheveled, and his slacks hanging loosely from his hips. He didn't have a tshirt on, and the metal on his arm was looking even more prominent, because of which you couldn't help but let yourself take a good quick glance of his body.

He was an arrogant bastard, a cocky motherfucker, but he was really sexy, you couldn't deny it.

You couldn't deny that you had thought about him, while working out at times, imagining yourself positioned underneath him, as he did his push ups on top of you.

You groaned due to your thoughts, a little too loudly, and Bucky turned your way. The edge of lip was slightly shot upwards as though he had been smirking, and you swear you saw a hickey just at the nape of his neck. Just then, a strikingly beautiful blonde stepped out of his apartment straightening her outfit, giving you a quick, nervous glance before he darted away.

"That was fun, doll. See you soon." Bucky called out, his voice barging through the hallway, before he shot you a quick glance and disappeared into his apartment, his door slamming shut.


	4. Chapter 4

Things seemed to have died down between you and Bucky altogether, ever since he had been assigned a classified mission to go to and you hadn't seen him in over two weeks, which was a news that was told to you by Wanda. This was a good thing; a good time for you to clear your head and maybe, stop having to deal with his obnoxious ass loitering all over the Stark Towers, like it was him that owned this place and not Stark. 

Today was your final training; what Tony refered to as certification training, and it was your today's performance that was going to decide if you were ready to finally be sent to your own missions or not. 

You looked at yourself in the mirror as you fixed your contact lenses into your eyes, sighing softly to yourself as you placed the glasses by the bedside table. You then walked out of your room, scratching the back of your head as you made your way towards the training room, five minutes before you had been asked to assemble there by Steve. 

You almost did a double take when you stepped into the training room, although you weren't late, you saw that Sam, Wanda, Vision, Clint and of course, James Buchanan Barnes were all already there, and all the heads turned towards you when you entered. You didn't know this was going to be an entire team thing; a sudden nervousness started bubbling in the pool of your stomach. 

Steve, and Tony were standing with their arms crossed over their chests, and Steve nodded in acknowledgement when you fixed yourself next to Bucky, as he was the one in the extreme end. You felt his eyes on you as you walked past him, and a faint fragrance of elon and musk invaded your nostrils, and you took a slow breath, just to breathe a waft of it once again, unconsciously. 

"Well, all of us know this drill, except Y/N," Steve turned towards you briefly and then towards the rest of the team, before Tony's grin caught your eye, "It's Junior, Cap." 

"Tony, this is serious, please." 

Tony nodded, quickly masking his grin away, clearing his throat. 

"For you Y/N, the agenda is– " Steve took a deep breath, before speaking again, "you are six, and each one of you will be put into a team, there will be two teams. You will be put into a simulation, there will be simulated villains trying to stop you from trying to reach your goal." 

"And your goal will be to diffuse the fake bomb, mind you there is just one bomb, and only one team will get to diffuse it, whichever finds it first. There is no winner but it's all about your performance. And for you Y/N, this counts as your test, and once you clear this, Steve will sign you off to your first individual mission," Tony mumbled. 

This was a big thing, this was an opportunity, and you wanted to do nothing else but prove yourself. You weren't just anybody, you could fight side by side with the Avengers and be their equal.

"This challenge is not just about fighting the villains, but it will also test your tactical skills. Being an Avenger means encountering the most severe scenarios, and diffusing bombs is one of the most common ones," Steve chimed in. 

"Finally, the teams. Clint, and Buck, the two of you take charge of either of the teams, Clint, you take Y/N, and Sam, while Wanda and Vision go with Buck. Is that clear?" 

"Yes, Cap." Everyone chortled, and you nodded your head. 

Soon, the simulation was upon you, the team went through a door, behind which, the walls were neon blue. You all had your handguns drawn out, except Clint, who was using his arrow. You could see Barnes, he was a few yards ahead of you, smoke bellowing through the barrel of his gun, as he had already taken a hit. Your competitive side pounced upon you, and you squeezed yourself to the front while Clint was busy aiming his arrow towards one of the simulations, that was making its way towards you. You were fast, and even faster as you jumped down, and slid across the floor, right through under one of the simulation villain's feet, and then you shot it twisting your body by the waist, the simulation vanishing into thin air. 

By the next fifteen minutes, you had already eliminated atleast seven simulation villains, having earned a pat on your back from Clint, and a wolf whistle from Sam, something that didn't seem to fare so well with Bucky, for the some reason; but you didn't know that. You didn't realize that Bucky seemed to be a little distracted, and he kept glaring at Sam Wilson, from time to time. However, he wasn't even aware he was doing it. 

Bucky had taken down atleast twelve villains by now, but they just kept creeping out, again and again, not even giving him the time to reload his gun, it was like a full fledged zombie invasion, but so far, he was killing it. Finally, he spotted a small red beep, underneath what looked like a ceramic slab, but he realized that you had spotted it too, at the exact same time. His eyes narrowed at you, a low throaty growl erupting animalistically from the back of his throat as he sprung to his legs, now sprinting towards it, in full speed. 

You screamed due to the adrenaline pumping through your veins, and darted after him, now trailing just a few steps away from him. You had to stop him, that was your lock, and only you were allowed to be a key to it. 

Finally, when you realized that he was closer to the bomb than you were to it, you lunged at him, instead of the simulation villains, causing him to get dis-balanced and fall face first against the cold floor with you falling after him; but your fall being saved when your face hit his sturdy back. It still hurt though, and felt like your nose had cracked. 

He suddenly rolled over, his mechanics being much faster than yours and this caused you to come crashing to the floor now, with the back of your head hitting hard against the floor, causing you to groan in pain. 

By this time, the red buzzers had sounded, which meant that the simulation was over; but this also meant that you had failed. The bomb was still not diffused. 

Barnes was laying next to you on the floor, but you knew it deep inside that he was pissed, and hell, he was pissed, for the next minute, he sat upright, and leant over you, with his bulky frame shadowing you, his face hovering above yours. He almost brought his metallic palm to your throat, ready to grab your neck, but for some reason, he didn't touch you, but only kept glaring at you, with a slow, distilled rage, the kind of a rage that was more dangerous, for this kind of rage often grew into something much more disastrous. 

"Do it, why did you stop?" You grunted through pursed lips, hissing at him. 

He just looked at your outburst, his eyes cold and emotionless, a flash of his previous self having come out from the little antic that you had played. You knew he was wrestling for control, and he actually was, but you were so hell bent on poking him again and again, just because you had come this close and failed, you didn't seem to care if you brought out the man that he had buried long time back. 

"You are a fucking nutcase." 

He literally spat in your direction, and stood up, just when the door opened and Steve and Tony stepped in, their eyes on Bucky, and then down at you. 

"And you're a ticking timebomb." You hit him back with your words, ignoring the intruders when Steve finally spoke. 

"I want the two of you in the meeting room, now." Steve pointed towards Bucky, his face strict, without a trace of a smile on it. 

Bucky glared at you once again, and his palms clenched visibly against his side, his shoulders stiff as he started following Steve, and you followed after him, ignoring how the rest of the team was staring at you; some of them having a deep frown over their faces. 

You reached the meeting room, Steve was hunched over the table, his palms resting on the surface of it, his eyes narrowed towards Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, who was seated on a chair in front of him, leaning back against the backrest. When you entered, Bucky's eyes met yours, and his nostrils flared in reflex.

"Y/N, take a seat. It's time the two of you sorted whatever this thing is going on, between the two of you. This is clearly starting to affect your performance, and I cannot have it affecting our missions." 

"I understand, Steve," you mumbled taking your seat next to Barnes, your cheeks burning from the inside. 

"So, what happened?" Steve asked, lowering himself on a seat opposite to you, your eyes fixed on him. You could see Bucky's head turn towards you from the corner of your eye, so you sighed, your fingers toying aimlessly with each other. "Well, I - I saw that Sergeant Barnes was closer to the bomb, and I thought–" 

"You thought you will beat him, so you can succeed. Now, the first rule of being an Avenger, can you guess what it is?" 

You bit down on your lip, swallowing the lump forming in your throat, and shook your head. 

"It's teamwork." 

You nodded. 

Steve appeared to be contemplating; you could see that his palm was resting against the table and he was tapping it with his fingers , against the surface. He finally freed out a deep breath, and looked at you, "You are being suspended from your first mission, where we were planning to send you to Hungary tomorrow, you have been suspended until for the next two weeks." 

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

You should have been angry, that you were suspended from going to your first solo mission, and Bucky was let go, without nothing; but you didn't. Instead, a part of you was feeling guilty, for you hadn't really been in the right this time. Yes, you were eyeing the prize, but that didn't excuse the way you chose to win it. You let your personal battle with Barnes cloud over your senses, which ruined today for you. You were also feeling guilty, for you did notice that Bucky was trying hard to control his rage, so he didn't end up hurting you, but you just kept on instigating him; again and again. 

You spent all afternoon thinking about it, and finally, you stepped out of the Stark Towers, because you really needed to unwind. The first thing you did was buy yourself a few dresses, to fill up the emptiness in your closet, and while you were at it, you purchased a soft, plush sports fit tank top, a white one, the one that you had ruined for Barnes on your first day. You sat outside in your favourite table in a cafe and had a sandwich with a giant iced tea, before you went back to your place, giving yourself the pep talk that no matter what happened, you were going to apologize to Bucky today, for what happened during the simulation. 

The floor the two of you shared, and Sam, whos apartment was towards your left, the first one in the hallway, was quiet. You checked with Friday on your way up in the elevator, if Sergeant Barnes was in the gym. 

"Sergeant Barnes is at his apartment, Miss Y/N," The AI informed you. 

Finally, the elevator pinged open, and you stepped out, still clutching the neatly wrapped packet that you were going to give him, as a peace offering and tell him that you didn't wish to fight anymore. Although you were nervous, your cheeks were flushed, and you could feel your heart rate accelerate every time you tried to bring your palm up to knock, you deadpanned when you heard Friday's voice go off inside, and she betrayed you, even before you could muster the courage to do it yourself. 

_"Sergeant Barnes, Miss Y/N wishes to see you."_

You fluttered your eyes shut, and took a deep breath, listening to someone unlock the door on the other end. You were preparing in your mind, were you just going to say 'Hi Bucky', or just look at him at a loss for words, you had no idea. The door was pulled open, and your mouth parted, but words lodged themselves to your throat when you saw him. 

He was dressed; his hair slicked back and gelled, his jeans hung loosely from his hips, and he was wearing a printed half t-shirt, his metal arm visible. He was, however, not alone. The woman you had seen with him a few days back, hung to him, and his flesh arm was wrapped around her waist. You could see that she was giggling into his ears and your grip just tightened against the gift that you held in your hand, but just shuffled it back, behind you, so he couldn't see it now. 

"Well?" He raised an eyebrow. 

He looked at you, as though he was getting impatient, but your mind fused up, and you didn't know what to say. 

"I don't have all day, you see, we have a movie date we need to get to, if you don't mind." 

The ice in his voice was like needles that went right through you, puncturing your insides. You had never really let his words affect you before; but something in the way he spoke the words today made you flinch internally, and bite back on your tongue to refrain from saying something nasty. 

"I just wanted to ask you to keep the voices low, I am in my apartment trying to get a fucking sleep, but you two seem to forget that you are not the only one on this floor." 

He just smirked at you, the corner of his lips jutted upwards as though he was amused, but he nodded, inkling the woman closer to him, "Aren't you sure you just aren't being a little whiney because you have no one to share your apartment with?" 

"Barnes, I thought the two of you had a date at the theater, why don't the two of you just fuck off?" 

"Whatever." Bucky moved past you, and the two of them walked off, leaving you to stand on his door, fuming internally. 

Five minutes later, you were literally striding into the recreation room in full swing. Steve and Sam were standing by the oven, and Wanda and Vision were lounging on the couch. Your steps caused the two men by the oven to snap their heads in your direction, startled to see you all worked up, walking towards Wanda. 

"Wanda, the man you were talking about, the one you wanted to set me up on a date with, is he available right now? I am in a need of a good date." 


	5. Chapter 5

You looked at yourself in the mirror for probably the tenth time. _Were you looking trashy ? Not really_. You ran your hands through your hair, ruffling them up just the right amount so that they looked bouncy as your fingers moved on to the lipstick. _Were you looking just too plain?_ You groaned at youself for probably the twentieth time, but this time you grabbed the red lipstick. It was a bold choice, red lipstick, a plaid checkered shirt, and a pencil jeans, not to forget your heels, that you never really wore. 

"Damn girl, you really look great," Wanda tossed herself against your mattress, her eyes plastered on you. "Lucah will go crazy, I tell you." 

"How do you even know this guy again?" You raised your eyebrow, looking at her through your mirror, as you slid your glasses back on and scanned at yourself one last time. 

"He was Pietro's bestfriend." 

You noticed Wanda zone out, probably lost in some old memories. You knew memories were bitches; so it was better not to scratch them up, so you decided to change the topic. 

"Is he hot?" 

"Smokin'." Wanda smirked, propping herself up as she walked up to you, "Think a strong , muscular back, veiny arms, the guy can flex, sandy blond hair." 

"Jeez, I can really picture Steve right now." 

Your words were enough to send Wanda into a snort, followed by a carefree laugh as she shook her head. 

"Na, Steve is more, I don't know, decent looking? Lucah, I'd say he's 21st century, Steve likes jazz, Lucah likes R&B. They're like poles apart?" 

"Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but since you already texted him three times just to make sure he arrived on time to pick me up, I'm sure the guy is probably waiting for me right now." You grinned, grabbing your purse. As if on cue, Friday's voice rang through your room, informing you that your date had arrived downstairs to pick you up and Wanda's grin just widened.

"I'll see you later, babe, have fun." She winked teasingly and you gave her a last smile before you practically ran out towards the elevator. 

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

Wanda was right, the guy looked handsome. He was just the right amount of handsome, and you did look good when you sat clinging to him while he rode his motorcycle through town, all the efforts you had put into setting your hair down the drain. He had complimented you, the first thing he saw you, how beautiful you were, and who were you kidding, it had been ages someone had said that, and you were already blushing a scarlet red. When he asked you if you had something planned out for the day for you had already communicated through Wanda that you were planning the date this time, you gave him a tight lipped smile. 

Thus, the two of you found yourselves seated at an open air cafe that was directly in front of the entrance of the movie theater, on the opposite side of the road.

So far, the date wasn't going good. Of course, you were sitting there, right across from him, giving him the most bored looks ever. Not that he was bad, maybe you just weren't feeling it, or you had been off the market and under the radar for so long, you had forgotten what made a date a really fabulous date. Also, your eyes found themselves trailing over the cineplex doors, wondering when the afternoon show of the only movie that was playing there today will get over. 

"So, Y/N, the Avengers huh? How does it feel to be one of them?" Lucah just said, trying to lighten up the weirdness that was already bubbling up inside of you. On the table, in front of you, your untouched plate of fries, and a cappuccino lay, while he was happily gobbling up the nachos, at a pace much faster than yours. 

Your breath left your lips rather loudly, when you finally saw the doors open, and people started to tumble out, discussing the movie and mostly critiquing it. 

"Hey, are you listening -" 

Your eyes lit up in excitement, when you saw just the people your eyes had been waiting to see, followed by an obvious scowl that crept up on your lips. Bucky had his arm wrapped around her still, and although he didn't appear to be smiling, he wasn't frowning either, so you assumed that he did have a good time, except for when he looked at her with slight irritation when she would bring up her palm, holding two popcorns between her fingers as she tried feeding him. 

"Cringy as fuck," you blurted out in a low annoyed voice, and Lucah just looked at you, his frown now obvious as he turned to follow your gaze to look at what you were looking at, or _who_.

"What?" He asked, confused.

"Life of an Avenger, I meant." 

He nodded and sat back, staring down at his hands. He wasn't sure suddenly why he was even here, and hadn't he left already. Although you were pretty, he was sure of that, he didn't really seem to find you interesting and you only seemed like you were distracted, looking around, not even having your fries, that laid abandoned on the table. 

Suddenly, Bucky's eyes, like a magnet flew towards you, but you at the right time, you turned your gaze away, fixing it on Lucah and leaned forward, reaching out and placing your palm on his hand that was laying on the table. You threw out the sauciest smiles that you could, parting your lips, your tongue sneaking out and moistening your lower lip. Slowly, you stood up and cleared your throat, you knew that Bucky was watching you now, you could feel his burning gaze on you. 

You walked over to where Lucah was seated, round the table; and boy, did he look scared at what you were going to do, and not to mention, totally confused. You didn't understand what got into you, it was like you were suddenly on fire, and you wanted to put on a good show, for Bucky's eyes. You lowered yourself on Lucah's lap, his arm snaking around your waist in reflex. He didn't push you away, he was so startled, and even before he could push you away, you didn't give him the time; you smashed your lips against his, leaning down on him, your nails almost digging into his shoulder, your other hand holding him by his head, your fingers matted into his hair. 

Bucky kept watching, from afar. His eyes had darkened two shades, and his face had a look, a look that said, if anyone would even dare mess with him now, he would rip them apart into pieces. He let out a frustrated grunt, and the woman next to him stopped blabbering and looked at him, frowning at his sudden outburst. 

"Let's go and eat at that cafe, I'm starving," Bucky grumbled, under his voice, grabbing the woman's hand and walking her towards the open roof cafe, eyeing the table just next to yours. 

As Bucky and the woman passed you by, he intentionally cleared his throat so loudly, you had to break your kiss, but the smug smirk on your lips meant that you knew that what you wanted to do had had the desirable effect on him, and that was what made you feel even more better. 

"Well, that was nice," You brought your palm up to Lucah's cheeks, your thumb grazing against the stain that your ravaged lipstick had left against his soft, plump ones. You finally stood up again, straightening your dress, and running your hands through your hair until you walked back to your chair, sliding down against it. Your breathing was hitched, your ears felt warm, and your cheeks were heating up. 

"I don't get it these days, with people and their cheap, corny as fuck public display of affection." Bucky suddenly began, causing you and Lucah to snap your head towards the table next to you; your eyes narrowed. Bucky just sat there, lounging against the back of the chair, sipping on some soda through the straw, his eyes fixed on the blonde. 

"Well, excuse me but are you talking about-" Lucah began to speak in a low voice, but you cut him off, reaching oit for Lucah, until you had taken his hand, your fingers coiled with his. 

"You know some people are just so closed off, they would suck at this PDA thing, and knowing they can't do it, they just like to comment on others," you said those words loud enough so Bucky could hear them, and then you grabbed a fry, tossing it into your mouth, sitting back more comfortably. If anyone could see the scene unfurl, it would have been hilarious to watch. 

"Maybe we just have more class, and prefer to fool around at more private places." 

If you had eyes on your side, you would sure have seen the widest smirk on Bucky's face. But even without taking a look at him, you knew he was smirking.

"Private places? Like what? The back of a theater? Who even does that? What are you? Like 16? Get a room," you snapped. 

"Well, you have a room, but do you have a partner to share it with?" 

Before you could come back with a reply to what Bucky had just said, your eyes skid to where Lucah was. He had stood up, making a ruckus with his chair, to snap you out of whatever you had going on. He cleared his throat, slammed a few notes for the date on the table, and walked off, his leather jacket dangling from his shoulder. He, however, made his way to the blonde sitting opposite Bucky, who had a clear scowl on her face. 

"Maybe you would like to get another table? And we could just leave them alone?" 

"Yeah, I'd like that," the woman stood up, clearly giving Bucky the cold shoulder and she unzipped her purse, and pulled out a few dollars, almost throwing them into Bucky's face. He was taken aback, and was ready to say something to her, when you suddenly called out, "Hey blondie, you do realize that metal arm can choke you right? And I'm not talking about choking you in bed. The guy took you to the movies, the least you can do is be a little respectful." 

Their heavy footsteps vanished away; and you finally craned your neck towards Barnes, your eyes finally meeting his. He had an amused look playing on his face. It wasn't a smirk, but it wasn't a smile either. It was a mix of them both. 

"What?" You mumbled, in a low voice, reaching out and grabbing your tie. 

"Mhm, nothing, just wondering why you defended me." 

Another fry was awkwardly stuffed into your mouth, followed by a sip of your cappuccino. 

"So I could be the one to insult you the next time." 

A silence fell on the two of you and now, you averted your eyes. You didn't want to look at him, so now you didn't know what he was doing, or what he was probably thinking. You could hear him aimlessly tapping his palm against the table but the sound suddenly stopped. You heard him stand up, and then he moved to the chair that laid abandoned in front of you, pulling it out and propping himself down against it. 

"Well, it's just the two of us now, and that's a lot of fries, you sure you can eat them alone?" Your lips twitched, but you bit on your tongue to control yourself from giving him the widest smile that you could give him, as you saw his hand inching towards your plate. You swatted his hand with yours at the exact time he grabbed a fry, but he was fast, he had already pulled back and pushed the fry into his mouth. 

"Don't put your fingers into my fries, I don't even want to think about the places your, uh, fingers have been while back at the movies." You made a gagging face, and Bucky's face turned red for a second, and he just started coughing, and grinning at the same time. 

"We were watching Wall-E." 

"Are you fucking kidding me? That's-"

"The only place my fingers were was into the bucket of caramel popcorn. Who the hell prefers caramel anyway?"

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

"I can't believe it," you smirked; almost widening your eyes in the most dramatic way while Bucky just rolled his eyes and shook his head, looking at you. "You've been fucking around with that one for weeks, and you've not even asked her what her name was?" 

"She did tell me her name, I just forget. It was Maggie or Pastry, I don't even remember. Who the hell is even called Pastry?" 

"Barnes, my cat's name was Pastry, are you fucking saying it wasn't a good name?" 

"For a human, not a cat." He just smirked, leaning forward. 

You were sitting on a swing, your heels laying abandoned next to where Bucky sat on a bench, from where he could see you; your feet grazing against the dew on the grass. It was pretty late at night, well not that late, but it was almost dinnertime. 

"Who the hell named you Bucky? You don't even have buck teeth." 

"Really? Was that supposed to be a joke?" He smirked, leaning forward, his elbows resting against his knees, his hair falling against his eyes. 

"Yeah well, you know. Bucky, buck teeth, it rhymes?" Maybe it was the two bottles of beer that the two of you had, but it annoyed you how he was in his complete senses and here you were, making weird cringy jokes that didn't even make sense. 

"I thought you hated me." 

You stopped swinging abruptly, when you heard him, his words slowly sinking him. Groaning to yourself, you stood up, and walked up to where he was, lowering yourself next him to him, staring at the swing that was still moving lightly. 

"You give yourself too much importance, Barnes. Besides, you started this while thing in the first place." 

You couldn't see his expressions now, but you could feel him lost in a deep thinking. At a slow pace, you turned your head to face him and you saw that he was staring at the starry sky, thinking. 

"I don't get it. You're a freaking super soldier, you're supposed to be strong, and you're supposed to be pain tolerant, and you whined about me burning your fucking abs for days." 

He suddenly snapped his head towards you, whatever he was thinking before this now abandoned. His eyes were narrowed, and his lip almost twitched, in annoyance before he grumbled, "that was my favourite tshirt. And besides, I was sort of having a bad day." 

You stood up, turning around so you were now looking down at him, a frown having paved it's way over your forehead and your hands fixed on your hips. 

"You fucked with my mind, you made me look like a freaking joke in front of Steve, just because you had a fucking bad day?" 

He shook his head, almost grumbling under his breath, wondering why he had let you drink. 

"And who do you think you were back at that simulation training?" 

"Well that was different- " 

"How? Care to explain?" 

You couldn't believe it, the nerves on this man. You almost gasped, taking a step away from him, draping your arms over your chest. 

"You knew what clearing that certification meant to me."

"Well, doll. Being an Avenger means everyone fends for themselves; it was a fair fight, but you didn't want to play fair, and that's your fault." 

While Bucky just deadpanned, his face giving you a look of disapproval, you just curled your lips into a snicker, almost throwing your head backwards, so you could let out a laugh. 

"Look who's talking." 

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Bucky shrugged. 

"How fair would you think messing with someone's weights at the gym is?" 

Now it was your turn to smirk, and your smirk even widened when you saw a sudden look of discomfort flash against the man's face, which he quickly masked by pulling on his cold and emotionless expression, "I don't understand." 

"Sam told me, you prick. You messed with my weights, you wanted to get back at me. Don't you dare tell me this was all my fault. When I just wanted to fucking make things right." 

"Yeah, make things right? I can see how you made things right." His knuckles cracked, and his jaw squared, as he towered over you. 

"Well, I would've, if you weren't busy getting into that bitch's pants, whatever her name was." 

"Pastry." 

"You've gotta be kidding me, who the fuck names a child Pastry?" 

Bucky sighed, for probably the tenth time, and ran his fingers through his hair. Women, they always suprised him; and the women he met, they were all different and unique in the most weird ways, like this one standing right in front of him. She was just plain weird, and psychotic. But he couldn't deny, even with her weird psychotic ways, she was slowly growing on him. 

"The point is?" He raised a brow. 

"Well, the point is, Sergeant, I came to your room, to make this right. But you were so excited to go on this lousy date." 

"You really hate that I went on a date with her right? Why don't you go on a real date with me then?" 

His palms grabbed your arms, and he pulled you closer, his blues staring into your (Y/E/C). 

You swallowed the bile in your throat, and parted your lips. Words wouldn't come out though, it was as though your throat had constricted and you couldn't speak. You were like a ferocious animal cornered, you wanted to bite but you couldn't, so you just gave him a glare, furrowing your brows, and flaring your nostrils just a bit. 

"Atleast be a man and kiss me when I know you're dying to do it for a long time, Barnes." 

"You've gotta be kidding-" 

Bucky couldn't complete his sentence; not when you had smashed your lips against his surprisingly soft ones. He tasted like peppermint, and cinnamon, a taste you could not put a name to, but whatever it was, it was just right. 

You finally pulled away, almost gasping for air, and the expression on Bucky's face was just priceless. His jaw slightly hung, and you could see that his lips were parted, confusion reflecting in his expressions. But at the same time, his cheeks had a faint tint of red, and he licked his lips, relishing in the aftermath of the kiss. 

You took a step away, and turned around, casually skipping along the grass, until you were down on the swing again, and he just kept staring at you. 

_You really were the weirdest one he had met._

"Oh, and bdw, I know you checked out my ass that day at the gym. Hope you liked it." 

If you could compare Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes face with a tomato, you wouldn't have been able to decide which one was redder. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT ALERT.

"Are we not going to talk about how you just kissed me and now you're just sitting there pretending you never did," hearing Bucky grumble like a grumpy, old man only made you snicker even more. 

"What's there to talk about? I felt like doing it, I did it." 

"I see." 

You frowned, your reaction filled by the way Bucky had just accepted, and withdrawn himself from the banter. A part of you was disappointed, you wouldn't lie to yourself, bickering with Bucky Barnes was an important ritual of your daily life now and him shutting up now only worked as acting fuel to your fire. 

"That's it?" 

He smirked, leaning back against the wall, with one foot resting against the wall, "Yeah, I'm done. I'm not feeding those demons inside you. You just feed on my words." 

"You did not just say that to me." 

"I did." 

"Oh yeah?" You growled at him, a low throaty growl, right from your throat, and he just shot you an impassive stare, pretending that he was least affected by the tiny outburst. Secretly, he was enjoying it; so much, he could already feel himself growing hard in his jeans. 

"Well, are you going to do anything about it, doll?" 

You could feel the cold breeze brush against your cheeks, but you still felt flushed, and hot. You nervously blinked, finding yourself in an inexplicable situation; well not entirely inexplicable; you knew what you were suddenly feeling, but a part of you knew that the path your body suddenly wanted you to tread on, was unexplored inhabitation, and who knew what would happen next, if you maybe just, for once, gave in. 

You lifted your eyes, real slow, until you were looking at him. 

Bucky Barnes had looked at you a many times before; but he wasn't just looking at you now. If he was just looking, why would you suddenly feel heat creep into your insides and slowly churn your stomach? Why would you suddenly start feeling shy, when you had never felt an ounce of shyness around him before? In the dark corners of your mind you knew that the both of you should have talked about this, about what this madness was, but standing there, smirking at you, his thick, broad arms draped over his chest, he made it so hard for you to think straight. You mentally cursed yourself, for your mind and your body to suddenly betray you, your mind spinning now the way he was looking at you, and your body suddenly yearning to feel his touch.

"Are you?" 

_Real smooth, Y/N._

"Do you want me to?" 

His games and his words were going to be the death of you. 

"Shouldn't we be heading back?" You mewled, in a low voice, almost looking away but he just mumbled something; words that you couldn't decipher. 

And then, you started zoning out, everything started fading, and your mind started racing.

_You bit your lip, a little too hard, for you could now taste the metal on your tongue, when you saw him move away from the wall as he started walking towards you. Finally, having closed the distance, he was standing inches apart from you, and you couldn't see past his burly form, not that you wanted to._

_"Well, you've shut up," he smirked, looking down at you. "You never shut up."_

_"Well, dumbfuck, I know I never shut up, but with you standing right on my head, I can't think." You mumbled, almost inaudibly, hoping he wouldn't hear your mouth disobey your brain as you kept blurting out things you had locked back somewhere and didn't want to let out._

_"Well, you can start by talking about how I was checking you out at the gym." He was groaning into your ear, sending jolts of tiny surges of electricity rushing through your body._

_"Bucky-"_

_"No prick? Dumbfuck? Jackass? Just Bucky? What's the fun in that?"_

_"You're all of them but right now -"_

_"Right now what, doll?"_

_Bucky was gone, atleast he wasn't facing you anyway, but you could feel him and hear his voice someplace behind you. And you only gasped, a low, sudden yet embarassing sound escaping your lips when you felt his body up close, behind you. You let your eyes shut, parting your lips as a gush of anticipation escaped your lips._

_"I can't think."_

_It was as if you could literally picture him right now, a look of triumph on his face, a low smirk resting against his beautiful lips, the lips that you wanted to feel again, on your lips, your thighs, and many other places._

_"How does it feel now, being on the other end of the line?" He smirked, his lips slowly attaching themselves to the side of your neck, his metal arm sliding across your waist until he pulled you even more into him, from where even you couldn't ignore that growing hardness in his pants._

_"You cocky piece of shit." You cursed, relishing his touch, almost leaning back your head against him as he continued peppering your neck with his tantalizing kisses, "even now you can't stop this, can you?"_

_"Well, I'll stop if you want me to."_

_You knew you were going to have mouth sucking bruises into the side of your neck, but if only you could ask him to stop._

_"Stop, Barnes, " your mouth finally blurted out._

_A low moan of disappointment escaped your moist lips when he actually listened to you and moved away, your body immediately reacting to the loss of his touch. You turned around and you could see he was smirking, a faint reddish hue on his cheeks, but a youthful, boyish charm twinkling in his eyes_. 

"Are you gonna stand there all day and give me those weird googley eyes?" Bucky's voice snapped you back into reality, and you realized that he was standing there, his hands on his hips, his foot tapping impatiently against the gravel. You wondered how long you had been zoning him out, lost in your own little sinful world, that belonged to only you and Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes and now, for some reason, you couldn't look at him the way you did before.

"You're incorrigible, James Buchanan Barnes. You're the most annoying, infuriating, anger infusing man I've ever met." 

He just chuckled, and you couldn't help but laugh a little too, it was just required, to ease the throbbing you were feeling down your core, and to distract your mind from what just happened a few seconds back. 

"You're the most psychotic, lunatic, weird, and sexy woman I've ever met." He mumbled, sheepishly running his hand through the back of his head. 

"What the fuck Barnes? You think I'm psychotic? Oh, I am weird? Like you aren't." 

"Did you even listen to anything I just said, woman?" He said, skewering his head to one side in an annoyed tone now. 

"Yeah, you just called me psychotic, weird, lunatic and sexy, _oh_." 

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

Your mind swivelled in directions you couldn't control, and your insides churned in ecstacy as Bucky's hard thrust inside you made you throw back your head and let out a low pitched moan, your voice only acting a buffer for him to thrust even harder causing the walls of the shed to groan, as your back hit against it, again and again. 

"Next time you call me a jerk, or a prick, just think of the ways this prick can make you moan his name." He grunted, pumping himself into you, again and again relentlessly, as he had you propped up by your thighs, your feet locked around his waist, your hands gripping his shoulders, and at times, tugging at his hair. 

"Barnes," you began, only to bite down hard on your lip and let out a scream, almost calling his name, "Fuck." 

"Say that again, doll. The way my name rolls over your lips," he hissed, groaning right against your ears, adding fuel to the already building up intoxication that your body was feeling, feeling Bucky inside you. 

You were already feeling it, your body beginning to rock, and your toes were beginning to curl inwardly, the little she'd behind that garden now echoing with the sounds of skin slapping against each other and high pitched gasps, moans and grunts, when all of a sudden, your phone began to ring, loud enough to snap the two of you out of it. 

Although Bucky slowed down, he didn't pull out of you, right away. He, however, saw the caller ID on your screen, and a dark look took over him, as he thrusted hard into you, causing you to grab onto him tighter, his one hand snaking up your abs, up to your breast, until he was pinching your nipple.

"Why the fuck is Sam calling you?" He grunted, pushing you back, so you were now sprawled out in front of him, your legs spread out, until he lifted one leg and pulling you closer, threw your leg over his neck, his thrusts now hitting all the more differently. 

"Must want to check on me." 

"Cares too much for you, doesn't he?" He panted. 

"Buck–" You whined; shutting your eyes as you started feeling your stomach knotting again, when your phone started buzzing again, causing an obvious frown to shoot towards the direction of the faint, glowing light. This time, it was Steve. 

"You should receive it, it must be something important, doll," he mumbled, kneading the skin of your thigh against his cold metallic palm as he slid out of you, and slammed his thickness into you again,the two of you moaning and grunting when he did that. Reluctantly, you reached for your phone, but your mind was a storm right now. 

"Fucking hell, Barnes. I hate him right now." 

"I know," he smirked down at me, biting down in his lip, as sweat now dripped off the side of his neck, down in shoulders. God, the way he looked from down here with you pressed to him, he was beautiful and the way he felt inside you right now, you couldn't describe it. He would have asked you to rob a bank for him right now, but you would have done it, just to feel this again. 

In one swift movement, you felt one of Bucky's digits rubbing against your clit, as if his massive thickness wasn't already proving to be ecstatic to you. 

The phone started ringing again, making both you and Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes groan, at the exact same time. 

With shaky fingers, you grabbed the phone, and your eyes met Bucky. Your fingers trailed along until your thumb hovered over the green call receive icon, but before you could do it, Bucky's lips had taken over yours and involuntarily, you meted into the kiss, pushing your throbbing core as a reflex against him, while he rutted vigorously into you. 

"You gonna take that now, doll?" He said in a low, teasing voice. 

You smirked, grabbing the man's chin and pulling him forward, your tongue teasingly running over his plump lips, "only if you keep up the pace." 

"Let's see you take that call, and take my cock at the same time." 

Your smirk dropped, turning into a sinful groan when he bent down to suck lightly on the soft spot at the side of your neck. Taking a deep breath, you clicked on the receive icon, flinging the phone to your ear. 

"What the hell, Steve?" 

You raised your eyebrows, noticing him stiffling a laugh, so you just gave him a good glare, nudging him to move faster. Bucky's movements were painfully slow; and teasing, and you couldn't wait for Steve to disconnect so you two could go back to finish off what you had started. 

"You've been gone all day. Everyone's been worried, Wanda checked with Lucah, but he won't receive her call. What's going on? Where are you?" 

You were sure Bucky could practically hear Steve Rogers screaming at you from the other end of the line right now, even if you were not on speaker. 

"I went shopping," you muttered in a low, irritated voice, closing your eyes, letting your head rest back against the wall of the shed, your free hand raking through Bucky's hair, your head almost swivelling and your eyes rolling back in pleasure, as you felt the tip of his cock tease your folds before his girth slowly sunk into you again. 

Reflexively, a low moan escaped your lips, and your eyes widened in embarassment; as you quickly masked it with a grunt. Bucky was smirking at you again, and this time, relishing that you were the one that had turned ten times redder than a tomato. 

"What was that?" 

You looked at Bucky, your eyes widened in alarm, and he just shrugged in the most nonchalant way. 

Fucking bastard.

And then, he won't stop. Not that you wanted him to, but between Steve's annoying voice pounding into your ear, and Bucky's swollen cock thrusting into you, you didn't know what to say.

"I tripped, Steve." 

"You tripped? Really?" 

You looked up at Bucky, and he mouthed Steve's words back at you. He was laughing at you, he was so enjoying this. 

"Yes, I tripped, over a fucking dead body." 

Bucky couldn't hold it in anymore, and he let out a snort, causing you to throw out your palm towards him, pressing it against his lips. 

"What was that?" 

"Jesus Steve, the dead body was snorting cocaine."

You were part annoyed with Steve but on the other hand you couldn't stop chuckling to yourself, imagining what Steve's face looked like, reflexively , you swatted Barnes away, a sudden feeling of losing contact with him hitting you hard, when he slid out of you. You only stood up, the pads of your feet grazing against the soft grassy ground, as you motioned for Bucky to sit down on a crate, while you mumbled something into the phone. 

Pushing Bucky back, you climbed on top of him now, closing your eyes, as you entered him again, feeling his thickness fill you up completely. You literally had to press your palm against your mouth to refrain from screaming. 

"You're being weird, (Y/N)." 

"Jesus, Steve, I'm busy right now. I'm,uh, waiting to get the dresses I bought billed at the counter." You lied, arching your body, letting your head fall back, his cold metallic and non metallic fingers tugging at your nipples, as you relentlessly rolled your hips and circled his cock. 

Your pussy was already beginning to clench, and your body had began to shudder. You knew your high was close, but Steve wasn't ready to disconnect. This was the most embarassing, and annoying night of your life. 

"Well then, I'll see you back at the –" 

"Yeah, bye Steve, I'll see you.. Fuck, _Barnes, God–"_

You felt mortified, frozen to the spot. You felt traumatized. 

Eyes widened, you looked down at Bucky, and he was smirking up at you, the look on his face that clearly said that I was now in trouble. 

"Oh God, no. That wasn't what I think it was, was it? You and Barnes? You and Bucky?" 

You groaned, and rolled off Bucky, his thick warm cum sliding down your thigh, and you buried your face into his chest, flustered, still groaning; needing to hide your face at what had just happened. You felt him take the phone off your hand, and his thick voice started ringing into your ears. 

"Punk. You really have the worst timings ever, won't you? You've really embarassed my girl." 

You could feel Bucky looking at your form but you were beyond flustered to look up and face him, but you didn't miss it this time, the minute he said those two words; his girl.

"Yeah, there's nothing to talk about this, I'm bringing her back, and would've brought her back sooner, had you not disturbed us." There was amusement in his tone, so you finally looked up at him, and Bucky's palm flew to your face, his thumb now stroking over your cheek, and you found yourself smiling at him, the smile warm and heartfelt. 

He pulled the phone off his ear, tossing it away, and sat up, holding you against his lap. The two of you were sitting in an awkward , uncomfortable position, with you sitting on Bucky's abdomen, your legs on either side of him, and him holding you by your dainty waist, but it didn't matter. 

"I fucked up, didn't I?" You mumbled, looking up at him. 

"I think you held him off really long, besides I can't blame you for screaming out my name, it did feel really good." 

"Shut up, Barnes." 

You stood up, grabbing your discarded clothes that lay on the ground, sliding into your panties while you could hear Bucky shuffle around, the sound of his belt jingling into your ears. For some reason, you felt at peace, and this sort of felt nice, not fighting with him for once, not wanting to rip his face off. 

The two of you walked out of the shed, your hands entwined with each other's, and you slowly craned your neck towards him, raising a brow. 

"What are we telling them? That I just managed to trip and fall on your dick?" 

Bucky chuckled, pulling you closer, inkling his metal arm so he was now holding you by your waist, "tell them we're taking it slow, seeing how things work out. I'm sure they prefer us fucking , rather than us trying to wage war against each other." 

You were looking at Bucky so intensely, trying to listen to his words, let them sink in, that you didn't notice a man walking towards you. Neither did Bucky. You were so engrossed, for you had never heard this man talk of those times, infact, he had never said anything remotely closer to you than curses and grunts. This felt refreshing. 

_"Well, look who's here."_

A voice snapped you back into reality, a frown creasing over your forehead. 

"Wallis?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANGST. A LOT OF FEELS.

You were looking at Bucky so intensely, trying to listen to his words, let them sink in, that you didn't notice a man walking towards you. Neither did Bucky. You were so engrossed, for you had never heard this man talk of those times, infact, he had never said anything remotely closer to you than curses and grunts. This felt refreshing. 

_"Well, look who's here_." 

A voice snapped you back into reality, a frown creasing over your forehead. 

"Wallis?"

For some reason, you were thankful when Bucky stepped towards you, the side of your arm now brushing against the fabric of his tshirt. He was quiet, but you knew he was watching. 

"Since when do you date? From what I had heard, you hadn't landed yourself a man since we broke up." 

"Life is more than just having a man, Wallis." You drawled on a smile, not failing to notice a flash of a frown grow over his forehead that he was quick to mask. 

"Well aren't you going to introduce me to your man?" 

That's when you turned towards Bucky, a faint blush paving its way to your cheeks. You didn't know why, but a current; a sudden surge of electricity flew through you when he called him your man. 

"Who the hell are you?" Bucky finally spoke. 

"My lousy ass of an ex husband who couldn't keep his cock in his pants," you retorted. 

"You still let that affect you, don't you?" He smirked, causing you to stiffen slightly. 

Bucky felt you tense up next to him but the warmth that you felt radiating from him was suddenly stripped away from you. But it was only when you saw Bucky wall up to him, towering over him with a glare equivalent to death in his eyes. 

"You do know who I am right? I would walk away I were you. And leave her the hell alone, I'd fear my life that can be taken away with just whisk of my arm," you kept watching, as Bucky flexed the fingers on his metallic arm slightly, the arm glistening underneath the pale moonlight. You finally found your footing, and your numbness subsided, and ignoring the buzzing in the back of your head and the throbbing headache in your temple, you found yourself walking up to the men, only to place your arm on Bucky's arm, slowly drawing his arm down so you could take his hand, coiling your fingers against the cool metal. 

You didn't know why it happened, and you didn't understand the logistics, but you suddenly felt safe, and you felt warm, although the icy metal was like ice against your skin. It even felt better when Bucky looked down, his eyes trailing over the way you were holding his hand, and he just tightened the grip, not wanting to let your hand drop. 

"Let's go Bucky, he isn't worth it." 

He nodded, and giving him one glare he turned around, still holding your hand, as the two of you walked away. 

"You know, you always play the victim card, using how I cheated on you, but do you ever tell the others what you did? And what I lost? Because of you?" 

The venom in his words was enough for you to stop walking, your heart beating wildly inside your chest. It had been a long time you had let yourself think of this, but now, the old wounds had been scratched, and the raw, seething pain was back. 

"Why don't you tell the world what you did? And what you didn't do? You keep sitting on this high pedestal, and pretend that it's only you that has been treated like this, but news flash, you're just as guilty as I am." 

The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down your face, your chin trembling like that of a two year old. You had zoned yourself out completely now, Wallis' words playing in the back of your mind repeatedly, like bullets being emptied into your heart. 

"Bucky," you managed to whisper, your voice low and broken, "take me home." 

You were so lost in your thoughts; you paid no heed to the sick, cracking sound that echoed for a split second when Bucky's metal fist collided with Wallis' jaw, or the groan of pain that escaped his lips as he crashed against the cold concrete floor, holding his bleeding jaw. You could only hear the static in your head, when Bucky draped his arm protectively around your shoulder, and pulled you to him, his voice trying to call you back, but you were too gone, too deep into the water to swim back out, you were drowning in your own head. 

"Let's get you back now, yeah? Doll, you're okay."

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

You were obnoxiously quiet all the way back to the Stark Towers. Bucky still hadn't let go off your hand, and he hadn't tried to make small talk with you, something you really appreciated right now. You couldn't talk, you didn't have the energy to, and neither the will.

The minute the elevators flung open, the two of you came face to face with Sam, Wanda, and Steve who was leaning against the wall, his eyes giving the two of you the looks; the tiniest of smirks playing against his lips. Bucky watched, as Sam's lips parted, and he was about to say something, but at the right time Bucky brought up his palm, and motioned towards him to let it be, and all the smirks on their faces just died, worry filling them up instead. 

Bucky quietly turned towards your apartment, walking you down the hallway, still holding your hand as you quietly followed him, your eyes lowered to the floor, while the three behind you followed the two of you, confused, but concerned about your well-being. 

"I'll be right out, punk." Bucky said in a low voice to his bestfriend, who understood, that perhaps you needed your space right now, so he nodded and stopped following you, watching Bucky and you disappear into your apartment.

You sat down against the edge of the bed, slowly lifting up your eyes until you had your eyes trained on the super soldier. Your heart ached at the sight; he was standing by your walk in closet, confused, looking for something that you could probably wear for the night, something more comfortable. 

"Hey, where do you, uh, keep your –" 

Finally, after what felt like ages, you gave him a weak smile, and he gave you one back. You stood up, slowly walking up to him and placing your palm gently on his flesh arm. 

"I've got it Buck, thank you, for everything you've done. You can go talk to Steve while I get changed. Yeah?" 

You didn't mean to do it, and you had tried so hard for him to not feel like you were kicking him out, sending him away, but it did look like a bit of hurt flashed in his eyes, before he quickly masked it, and nodded, giving you a smile just for the show. 

"Well then, I'll be back in my apartment, you can just call me on my cell if you, well, we do have Friday." He said, in a low monotone. 

The two of you stayed like that for a few seconds, your heart melting just by gazing into his blues, when he slowly took a step away, ready to leave. You didn't let go of his hand, causing him to stop walking and turn slightly, gazing at how you were still holding his hand like a little lost child. 

"I don't want to be alone, I was wondering if, well–" 

A soft smile broke out against the corner of his lips, and a faint nod on his face. 

"I'll be back, I just need to let them know you're okay. They are worried about you." 

"I know." You nodded, both of you walking in different directions; one out of your apartment door, and the other into the closet. 

You pulled out a plain white knee length frock, unbuttoning your jeans and rolling it down, until you stepped out of it. You then took off the shirt, hanging it neatly on one of the racks, so you could be reminded of taking the clothes out for laundry. Sliding your neck through it, you pulled the frock over your body, rolling it over until it fell to your knees.

Your eyes were feeling heavy, but you didn't wish to go to sleep. Instead, you laid down, pulling the covers partially over you and started staring at the ceiling. A sudden, hollow feeling hit you and you couldn't stop thinking about the things Wallis had spoken. 

You had made mistakes, but there was not a single night you didn't wish to undo the things you had done, and hope that the things had gone differently. 

Your chain of thoughts were broken when you heard Bucky walk in. He looked strained, but his shoulders relaxed the minute he saw you laying in bed. You turned your neck towards him, giving him a slow smile as you watched him walk towards the other side of the bed, lowering himself against the edge. 

He got into bed with you, the weight of the other side of the bed now heavy. This made you realize, this was the first time you had let a man into your bed, and also perhaps, into your heart, after whatever happened two years back. Reflexively, you rolled over, until you found yourself in Bucky's embrace, your face buried into his chest, fitting like a perfect piece of a puzzle under the crook of his neck. 

He smelled perfect. 

His flesh hand came to rest at the back of your head, stroking over your scalp in a soft and soothing movement of fingers. 

Finally, he took a deep breath and mumbled, his voice low and soft. 

"I've seen many horrors, doll. And I thought I could never get back to who I used to be." 

You blinked, looking up at him. 

"But I realized one thing, although it didn't make the pain go away, talking about things made it easier to bear." 

You almost sniffled a sob upon hearing his words, but Bucky heard you and he looked down at you, gazing into your eyes, until he leaned in and planted a soft, chaste kiss to your nose. 

"They did monstrous things to me Y/N. Things I cannot even tell you, but I still am here, am I not ? " 

You sighed into his embrace, resting your forehead against his sturdy chest, wanting to cry, to let it all out, but that would make you weak. And you didn't want to let this man see how weak you truly felt, how small as compared to the rest of the world. 

"I wish it were that easy, letting go. You really can't let go Buck when your actions are responsible for someone innocent losing their life." 

He almost raised an eyebrow but he didn't ask you what you meant. You only bit your lip, licking over your dry lower lip as you started thinking back again of how you could have done things differently. 

"Well were once happy Buck, me and Wallis. We were in love, we were newly married. And then one day, he came along." 

"Who did, doll?" 

His ask was so raw, so innocent, you couldn't stop talking. So you did, pouring your heart out to a man who you had known for mere weeks. 

"Danny, our son." 

You felt Bucky stiffen slightly, but he didn't let go off you, he still held you to his chest, mumbling a small, but audible hum, to let you know that he was listening. 

"He was the most perfect thing that ever was. He had my eyes, and he didn't cry. What baby never cries Bucky?" You chuckled, through your tears, that were now freely flowing down your eyes. 

The truth was, Bucky couldn't understand all this; these emotions were new to him. He never had his own family, and he didn't understand what it was like having a son. Maybe though, he did think that it wouldn't have been bad, to have his own family, something that he had thought of back in the 1940s, but now, he couldn't anymore for he was not the same man he used to be. 

"Well he never cried. He was one hell of a happy kid I tell you. Anyway, he was growing up so fast, and life was good. My boy was two already, and before I knew he was always running around our house, breaking things, knocking my fucking vases off the cabinets," the two of you were grinning at each other just thinking of a toddler running around the house, breaking things. 

Until you sombred up, and the smile washed off your face. 

"It was three nights after his third birthday, and Danny was with me, at home. Wallis was out, as usual, so I decided we would go take a walk, I really needed to clear my head." 

You didn't realize that your lips were quivering now. Your eyes were already swollen, half lidded and glossy, and you were trembling like a leaf, even in the warmth that Bucky provided you, coated you in.

"It was a moonless night, and Danny wanted to have his favourite ice cream when they came out of nowhere." 

"Who?" Bucky's voice got heavy suddenly, his eyes darkening two shades, his eyebrows forming a thin line.

"HYDRA." 

You felt Bucky loosen his grip on you, the minute you said that word. You didn't blame him. After all, they were responsible for the mess you all were in today. 

"I don't know what they wanted, but I was alone, and they were five. I failed, I failed to protect him. I could only watch–" 

Bucky's finger flew up to your lips, his index pressing against your plump ones, forbidding you from speaking any further. His soft eyes looked down at you, and you could see that his eyes were moist. 

"It wasn't your fault, baby." 

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath; if only you could believe him. 

"It wouldn't have happened, if I hadn't taken him out that night, if I would have been able to protect him–" 

"You didn't know what they planned, and they were five." 

You didn't reply, instead, you scooted closer into Bucky's embrace and he tightened his grip around you, pulling the covers over the two of you, his lips pressed to your forehead. You could feel his heart, because your face was pressed to his chest. His heartbeat was soothing and you found yourself relaxing to his touch, his warmth and the way he held you and your eyelids started feeling heavy. 

"My son died with a fucking bullet to his skull." You suddenly pushed yourself away from Bucky and propped yourself up in bed, wrapping your arms around your frail body, pinching your eyes shut, ignoring the warm, thick tears rolling down your cheeks. 

Bucky remembered talking to Steve, and how you had gone off the radar for two years and SHEILD hadn't assigned you any mission. Now he knew, that you had probably locked yourself up after what you had witnessed, and it wasn't your fault. He wanted to console you, to comfort you and he wanted to take this pain away, but he didn't know how to. 

He was scared now; scared that you would shut him off, only when you were starting to open up to him. 

"Y/N, it wasn't your fault." 

He didn't know that his words will anger you even more, instead of calming you down. You slid out of bed, much to Bucky's surprise, and turned to face him. 

"It wasn't my fault? Don't you see what I've done? Or what I could've done?" 

You were screaming at him. 

"You couldn't have done anything! Why don't you understand?" He slid out of bed too, almost yelling back at you in the same voice that you had used on him.

"Why the fuck would you still let that jerk get into your mind like that? Fuck your mind? He wanted this to happen, and you're letting him win," he spat, his hands on his hips. 

The two of you were on the either side of the bed, giving each other a stare down. 

"Bucky, you won't understand," you finally whispered, looking down at your hands, " you never had anyone to lose." 

You didn't mean that. You really didn't. But now you wished you could swallow back the words you had just said. Just the look of hurt on the man's face was enough to make you feel guilty. He didn't deserve this. He didn't.

"Bucky, that's not what I meant, come here please?" 

"Well, fuck, you weren't wrong. I am not used to this, having people, having connections, feelings and emotions. You're absolutely fucking right." 

"Babe, I didnt–" 

"But you know what? I'm okay this way. I have no fucking one to care about, or be cared for from, and I am okay with it. Because it's fucking simpler that way. Atleast it saves me the mess of being what you are today. You can't even forgive yourself for something you haven't even done." 

He slid his feet into his slippers and turned away, facing the door. His hands were clenched against his sides, so hard, his knuckles were turning white. He finally started walking towards the door, when you called out. 

"Where are you going?" 

Your voice broke.

"To my own damn apartment, so I can be alone, like I always was." 

The door slammed shut, and he was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, okay I know that's a lot of angst but I'm just planning something and they have to stay apart. 🥺💗

Sunlight poured through the cracks in the blinds in your room, and your eyes slowly fluttered open, and you clenched them shut again. It wasn't because the light that was bothering you, but because you suddenly felt a bitter pang somewhere in your heartstrings, when the memory of the last night flew into your mind.

Your bed was empty, and Bucky wasn't there.

You had said some things, some things you never should have said to him, but you couldn't tell him you didn't mean it, even though you had tried to.

Now, maybe you had lost him; even before he was completely yours.

You sat up in bed, rubbing the remainders of sleep from your hollow, empty eyes and gazed out at the horizon. You would have curled back in bed, and never would have gotten out, but you knew you eventually had to go out and face the rest of the team.

Finally, you managed to pull yourself through a warm shower, and a fresh change of clothes later, you found yourself walking out of your apartment, making your way towards the recreation room. A part of you hoped you will find Bucky, and that you will try to talk to him.

The recreation room smelled like freshly brewed coffee, and cinnamon rolls. You could hear a light banter between Clint and a different foreign voice, and your eyes widened in recognition, Natasha Romanoff was back. You stepped inside, and immediately, the bickering died down, and the woman’s eyes turned towards you, her eyes finally softening in recognition.

“Y/N, what a pleasant surprise.”

You gave her a tight lipped smile; nodding your head in her direction to greet her, “ likewise. How was the mission?”

“Exhausting. Tiring. But nothing I couldn’t handle.” She winked at you, and finally, she closed the distance between the two of you, and engulfed you into a bear hug, much to the rest of team’s surprise, including Bucky who had just been noticing the interaction from far, from the couch were he was lounging.

“I didn’t know the two of you were close,” Sam commented, and Natasha only smiled at him.

“I met her at SHIELD. And we even went on a few missions, together. This one is piece of work. She can be a soft teddy bear, and a freaking crazy bitch at the same time.”

“Definitely.” Bucky mumbled, ending his word with a cough, to which your neck snapped towards him, and you gave him a cold look, a frown paving its way to your forehead.

“Bucky, we need to talk.”

“No, we don’t.” His words were harsh, and you flinched at those, only to take a step backwards.

Steve, who had been speaking to one of the agents by the door, finally having noticed the conversation, stepped towards the two of you and sighed, looking at you, and then at Bucky. He shook his head at him, knowing that he wouldn’t crack first, so he turned towards you.

“What happened? Between the two of you?”

You shook your head, albeit faintly, and forced yourself to give the Captain a halfhearted smile, “I don’t kiss and tell Steve, you should ask your best friend, and maybe give him a message that he needs to stop being a pig and at least speak to me.” You turned away and walked off, towards the kitchen to get yourself a mug of coffee and Steve only sighed, knowing that he was stuck between two of the most stubborn headed people, and neither of them wanted to crack. Maybe, he could try to talk to his best friend, like you had asked him to.

Bucky nodded at Steve when he saw the super soldier making his way towards him, and lowering himself next to him.

“The two of you, this is getting way out of hand now, Buck. I don’t get it, it was yesterday, when the two of you were –“ his face turned red for a bit, and he averted his eyes.

“Fucking in a goddamn barn, I know.”

“Jesus, Buck. You can say this subtly.” Steve shrugged, “Anyway, and today, the two of you cannot look each other in the eye. What changed?”

“Nothing, punk. It was just a one time thing.”

“Really? With the looks that the two of you have been giving each other ever since she walked through that door, Buck, that is not a one time thing.” Steve retorted, skewering his head to his left. When Bucky didn’t reply, Steve sighed, placing his elbows on his knees and joining his hands, looking down at the floor.

“You know Buck, we have known her for a long time now. She might not seem very –“

Steve really didn’t know how to describe you.

“You mean, she might seem to be a bitch?” Natasha chimed in suddenly, and the two men looked up at her, watching her as she plomped down on the other side of the couch, with Bucky now in between. “I couldn’t help but overhear the two of you, so I thought I should tell you, well Barnes, Y/N might seem like an outright bitch on the surface, pardon my language, Cap –“ Steve just rolled his eyes, but didn’t comment. So she continued, “ But she is a good one underneath all those layers of arrogance that you see.”

Bucky grunted in a low voice, and then shook his head, finally taking a deep breath. He didn’t know why he opened up, and for once, told them exactly what he was feeling deep inside, “Its not about that. It’s about how I am not good enough for her.”

“What?” Steve asked, his jaw almost dropping at his words.

“She does not need someone as messed up as I am, Punk. She needs a stable man in her life someone who can treat her the way she deserves.”

“Buck, you underestimate yourself –“

“You gotta be kidding me Stevie, you think I can be the fucking same man I was back in the 1940s? You think I can be James Buchanan Barnes? I cannot be that man.”

“Barnes, you two –“ Before Natasha could speak, Friday's voice sounded through their ears, and they all looked at each other, confused and suspicious.

“Mr. Stark wants all of you in his lab. There is something important he would like to share. And Miss Y/N, he specially requests you to be there.” As if on cue, you stepped out of the kitchen; with a frown on your face, your eyes meeting Bucky’s for a split second, before you placed it on Steve and Natasha.

“What the hell does Tony want?” You grumbled, downing the last bit of your coffee in one go.

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

“What the hell, Stark?” Bucky was the first to enter his lab, followed by Natasha and Steve, and then you and Sam, the rest of the team following leisurely after the lot of you.

“This better be good, I just came from an exhausting mission, and I haven’t had a good night’s sleep,” Natasha commented, to which Tony just chuckled, and motioned with his index finger for you all to look at the holographic screen.

“I am sorry, Junior.” He turned towards you.

“Huh?”

“Well, Capsicle here asked me to look into this Wallis guy, and find out what I could about him.”

Bucky stiffened, visibly, and you noted his fingers clench into his side, his shoulders stiffening in response to Tony’s words. It looked like this was affecting him way more than what it was affecting you. You should have been the one writhing in fury, but you felt nothing altogether.

“Go on.” You stepped closer, your eyes now trained on the holographic scene.

“I couldn’t find much, but we did find two footages, and they seem to be from probably 2 – 3 years back, cannot be sure though.”

Suddenly, a video propped up on the screen. You could see five men standing on what looked like a dock, but behind them, there was a massive metal door. The men were dressed in black, neck to toe, and they had weapons on them. The man in the center; you could recognize him from the back of your mind.

It was Wallis.

“Tony, can we listen to what he is saying?”

“Ah, good question, Junior. We definitely can. Just give me a second.” You watched as Tony pressed a button, and suddenly, you started hearing muffled voices of the men, speaking to each other in a language you didn’t understand.

“Тогда это решено. Иди и забери ее и не подведи. Мы не подведем.” Wallis’ muffled voice rang through your ears.

“I don’t get it, what is he saying?” You whispered.

“Its Russian,” Bucky’s cold voice hit you like a sharp end of a knife, slicing right through your insides. Wallis never spoke in Russian, and you had no idea he even knew that language.

“Do you.. know what he is saying?” You looked up at him and he just looked away, averting your gaze. But he nodded.

“It is decided then. Go and get her, and do not fail. We do not fail.”

There was a shrill ringing in your ears, and you wanted to speak, but it was as though an imaginary hand was choking your throat. Finally, looking at Bucky through your beady, glassy eyes, you mumbled, your words barely making any sense, “Is he one of them? Did he send them there that night, Bucky?”

Bucky turned his attention to the screen, and the more he listened, the more his lip trembled, trying to mask the anger that was boiling up inside him.That one nod of his head was enough for your whole world to come crashing down. Those nights of absolute horror that you had witnessed; the nights you had cried yourself to sleep, clutching the onesies that your son once wore; the way you had kept blaming yourself for all that had happened. And it was all him. It all made sense now. It was around that same time you had been assigned an undercover mission, to materialize a search, and pull the curtains off from one of the HYDRA bases, that operated from Kyiv, Ukraine. And then this incident happened. It could definitely not have been a mere coincidence, that this happened exactly when Wallis wasn’t home. They had come for you that night, but had ended up shooting your boy. And Wallis had put the blame on you, that you couldn’t protect him; when it was that son of a bitch who had given those orders.

“You okay?” Natasha whispered, next to you. But it was Bucky who's eyes you were looking at; and who’s eyes were staring back at you, worry and concern reflecting from those blues.

“I will kill him with my own hands.” Your voice grew ten shades darker and so did your eyes, as they contorted into something venomous and dangerous, emitting no warmth, but only poison.

“Y/N we can come up with a plan –“

You raised your palm, cutting Steve off before he could continue.

“He is mine, Steve. I will be the one pulling that goddamn trigger against his head, and I will do it whether you like it or not.”

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

“You don’t have to do this like this, Y/N. We all need to go with you. You cannot just leave.” Sam said the same thing for probably the tenth time that night. You placed the bags that you had already packed on the floor and turned to him. It was 4 am in the morning, and you would not have been caught leaving, if Sam wasn’t in the kitchen, trying to satisfy his late night hunger.

“Sam, I cannot have this discussion again, you know I have to go. And this is my fight. I won’t have you all fighting for me.” You spat through pursed lips, only to lift your bag again as you started walking towards the elevator, trying to keep the voices as quiet as you could.

“What about Bucky?” Sam called out from behind you and you froze on hearing his name.

You pressed the elevator button, and started tapping your foot against the floor, sighing.

“What about him?”

“Don’t act smart. Everyone that’s not the two of you can see that the two of you are in love with each other.”

You couldn’t help but snort at his words, skewering your head to one side as the elevator doors swooshed open and you stepped in, with Sam next to you.

“Bucky and I, we are two twisted, broken souls, incapable of love.” You mumbled, trying hard to keep your eyes fixed to the numbers that were displaying on the tiny screen, waiting for the elevators to reach the underground parking, when Sam just said, “Which is why the two of you are meant to be together Y/N. Two broken pieces when put together can form one whole.”

You stepped out of the elevator, but Sam stayed in. You brought your palm up, and waved him off as the elevator doors shut again and you were left standing there in the empty parking lot, alone; your mind going over and over again at the words that Bucky said to you.

_Two broken pieces when put together can form one whole._

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

It had been **three** months since you had walked off without telling anyone where you were planning to go, and Sam had ratted you out the minute you left, waking Bucky up and telling him you’d left. He had screamed so loudly, yelling at him for why was he telling him this now, and why he hadn’t tried to stop her, that Sam had just stormed off, after getting into a massive spat with the Super Soldier.

He didn’t think you were ever going to come back, and a part of him felt that he had somehow drove you away; but he didn’t want to admit that he was going crazy, now that you were gone. The others didn’t try to talk to him much, for he often snapped at them, for petty, menial things or just walked off. They knew that although the man had put on a mask of steel on his face, deep inside, underneath the multiple layers of façade, the man was hurting. He was raging; and his rage was like a wildfire, one could see the flames roaring in his eyes.

It was after three long months that Bucky Barnes, and the rest of the Avengers; stood in front of the massive television, watching the live footage that was playing on their screen; of a woman standing on top of a building, her back turned towards whoever it was that was filming her, her gun drawn out. The team knew it by the frame of her waist, and the structure of her body, her short cropped shoulder length hair flying due to the current of the wind, that it was you.

They watched as you squeezed the trigger, without a bit of hesitation and Wallis flew back, the force of the bullet being so severe, he was toppled off the ledge of the building, until his body crashed against the concrete and he was reduced to a broken mess of blood, bones and tissue.

"Punk, I'm taking your motorcycle out." 

Bucky turned on his tail, and before anyone could even process anything or reply, he had already barged out of the room. 

"Wait, I don't even need to ask where he's off to, do I?"

Steve gave a half-hearted smile.

Natasha shook her head, and turned to the screen as you ran your hands through your hair, trying to settle them down so they wouldn't become a bird's nest. Sam just drew a small smile along the curve of his lips. 

Bucky still clung on to a hope that you will come back; now that you had taken your revenge, but the question was, although Bucky was ready to accept you with his open arms, will the team accept you too? He shoved these thoughts away, as he sped through the roads, swiveling the motorcycle like a pro through the buzzing cars, not even slowing down on the traffic signals. If he reached there on time, he could still catch her, and bring her back.

Little did James Buchanan Barnes know that you had no intention of coming back now, and you had already decided that you wanted to go back to the life you had two years back; when you used to live under the radar; cold, aloof and distant. And this was what you thought was the right thing to do, because Bucky was not ready for what was to come.

By the time Bucky reached the building top, where you had been minutes back, the roof was empty. _You had already left._


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are they back to bickering again? Like an old married couple ? Bucky Barnes gets a surprise. It's up to decide if it's a good one or a bad one.

**Three more months later,**

**(Six months ever since you left the Avengers Facility)**

Bucky lowered his cap, and so did Natasha, Steve, Clint and Sam as they pushed their way through a swarm of drunk college kids that were dancing to a loud, buzzing electronic music.

"All these years, and I still don't get how this is even good. Buck and I can tell you how a good clubbing was done, back in the 1940s– " Steve was screaming on the top of his lungs.

"God, this is giving me a goddamn headache, why are we here again?" Bucky raised a brow, and fixed a cold, impassive glare on Sam.

"I was born on this day. I have the right to call the shots." Sam pointed out, and Natasha just grinned, her body almost swaying to the beats that were playing.

"God, at least they have drinks. Come on punk. I think the only place the two of us can be is the bar." Bucky nudged Steve and Sam just rolled his eyes while he and Natasha started dancing, Natasha rolling her hips in a seductive way while Sam was just sort of moving his hands.

Bucky, Clint and Steve walked up to the bar and they fixed themselves in a corner, their eyes scanning around as Clint smirked, "Come on, loosen up, grandpa's. What are we drinking?"

"I'm not drinking– "

"We'll have the four roses bourbon– "

Both Bucky and Steve spoke at the exact same time, and Bucky narrowed his eyes as he looked at his best friend, "Really? You people drag me out here and we're not even drinking ?"

"Buck, what's the whole point of drinking when we can't even get drunk?" Steve just shrugged, while Bucky just shook his head.

"It's better than nothing."

"Well I can't win from you. Let's do it. Although I'm not sure I even heard about that before," Steve chuckled and pulled a barstool, so he could fix himself on it as Clint spoke to the bartender.

The bartender placed the drinks on the counter, and Bucky curled his flesh fingers around his drink, lifting it up and placing it to his lips, his eyes watching Natasha and Sam, as they made their way towards them.

"Not fair? You started without us, Cap." Natasha smirked at Steve, and leant against the counter so she can throw in her words to the bartender, telling him what she wanted to drink. Sam just made his way closer to the men, standing next to Clint and slowly turning towards three girls that were standing by the dance floor, their drinks in their hands, but their eyes were on them.

"Well check that out. I call dibs on the one in green. Damn." Sam smirked, and Steve just shook his head in disapproval, and brought his drink up to his lips, while Clint smirked and rubbed his palms together, "Nah, I'm good mate. You can have her. I have a good one back home."

"Hey, she is looking at you man." Sam nudged Bucky's knee using his elbow and he just rolled his eyes in the most casual manner and turned his head to listen to what Sam had to say, when his eyes fell on one of the girls, who was biting her lip, staring at him. Disinterested, he just turned away; back into his drink, staring at the glass when Natasha just blurted out, regretting her words immediately, "lover boy's just waiting for Y/N to come back, bring him the hottest woman on earth now, he would still want her back."

Bucky's grip tightened on the glass, and instinctively, Steve grabbed his flesh arm, to hold him back before he could lose his control and do something he would later regret.

"Barnes, I didn't mean it," Natasha immediately added.

"You women often say things that you never mean, which is why I don't bloody understand the things that goes on in those minds of yours," Bucky brought up his index finger, placing it on Natasha's temple, tapping it twice.

The lot fell silent then, each of them now lost in their own trivial thoughts. Bucky replayed the conversation he had with you in your apartment, and how you had said that you didn't mean it. He just scoffed, and shook his head, a little too obviously and Steve started looking at him, noticing his friend's sudden weirdness before his phone beeped in his pocket and he pulled it out. "Great, Tony wants us back at the towers. Someone hacked into two of the HYDRA bases systems in Kazakhstan and Hungary. It was live for two minutes before they took it off, but Tony managed to get his hands on a few cryptic codes and coordinates." Steve stood up, his broad, bulky frame almost blocking out the lighting behind him, as he slid his phone back into his pocket.

"Well, it couldn't have been the government, or CIA. Does Tony know the potential hacker?" Clint raised an eyebrow, and Natasha crossed her arms over her chest.

"Couldn't be traced. But again, if we can figure out those cryptic codes and coordinates, we will have a lead." Steve called out before turning around to leave. 

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

  
"Romanoff, you get anything?" Tony called out, while Natasha just grunted in annoyance, not even bothering to crane her neck to look back from one of the computer screens, as her fingers skillfully glided across the keypad, typing here and there. Bucky leant by the wall, eyeing Steve's computer screen, watching him intently as he was struggling to turn the cryptic symbols into something meaningful.

"Bingo, I think I have it," Natasha yelled, and immediately, the four of them flocked around her screen, staring down at the brightly lit screen.

"Eighth Avenue, Tech Laboratories?" Bucky mumbled, his eyes squinted slightly as he leaned over Natasha's back, typing something onto the computer so that the maps came up.

"But those labs have been shut down ages back, illegal animal testing and shit." Tony replied, in a casual tone and Steve just bit his lip.

"That's the whole point, Tony. Whoever this is, whatever is going on, it's illegal, which is why there's this shade."

"Guys I hate to break it to you, the more we stay here talking, we might end up missing whatever is going on out there," Natasha deadpanned giving them a serious look, and Steve nodded.

It didn't take them very long to reach the old, abandoned laboratories that looked stale and dinghy in comparison to the other buildings surrounding it. It was weird and confusing why this building hadn't been taken down yet. Another thing to notice was, that the building, although miniscule, the empty land that was in the boundary of this building was massive, and yet secluded.

Bucky and Steve stepped off their bikes, while Natasha got off hers, with Sam riding pillion behind her. Their hands flew to their gun holsters and immediately, they drew out their guns. Their eyes fell on a black sedan that was parked a few meters away; and they knew that whoever this was, was probably still inside. Steve's index finger flew to his lips, as the four of them, with quiet steps starting making their way into the building, their eyes scanning the vicinity for anything that was off.

"Do we split up or – " Sam begin but Bucky have him a glare, and he pressed his lips shut, " my bad."

The four of them walked in deeper, noticing an intense change in the heat level inside as compared to the outside. The inside of the laboratories were freezing, and it felt like they were inside a freezer. Climbing a flight of stairs, making sure they didn't press much weight to the stairs, not wanting the stairs to announce their arrival, they stepped onto the first floor, and reflexively, they stopped, when they heard a familiar voice.

_"Well, does everything look okay to you?"_

Natasha's head snapped towards Steve in recognition, and his eyes widened, his own head snapping towards Bucky.

"Hey, why the fuck does the voice sound like Fury?" Sam whispered in Bucky 's ear.

"Because it's Fury, Sam."

Before Sam could speak, another voice reached their ears, and this voice was foreign, and unknown.

" _Mr. Fury, this is something unlike I've ever seen. Those cells are multiplying at a rate faster than a normal human growth rate. These bruises, these bruises you see aren't something very common for a six month old fetus, yes they kick and all, but this is_ \- "

"Holy shit, Fury probably knocked up a girl. Boy I think we are just at the wrong place at the wrong – " Sam began whispering again, much to the annoyance of the others. They all turned towards him at the exact same time, ready to shut him up when a soft, feminine voice started speaking; a voice all of them were aware of.

" _Did Erskine's serum cause any damage to my baby_?"

James Buchanan Barnes turned white like a chalk. His eyes and his mouth were frozen wide open, in an expression of shock, and although he was staring straight at Steve; he appeared not to notice him at all, and all he could think of was what he had just heard. Steve took his best friend's side, placing his palm softly on his bicep, slightly shaking him out of his daze. Whoever that third person was, had probably left by now, and from what they could hear; it was just Fury and Y/N inside.

" _I know you want to go and pull those motherfuckers out of their shitholes, Y/N, I really know you do, but right now, they are going to come after you and try to get their hands on that kid_."

" _And you think I'd let them ? I'd break every single bone in their bodies. Those pesky rodents, they deserve to be wiped off, you know it,_ " You hissed, through pursed lips, unaware that a set of four eyes were now watching you and Fury from the corner. You were sitting on what looked like a gurney, your feet dangling off the edge. A loose fitting shrug was covering your shoulders, your palms cradling your pretty evident baby bump.

" _I'm tired of dealing with your stubborn ass. This is the time to stay hidden._ "

" _I am not going to do anything stupid Fury, not until this little guy's here._ "

You hopped off the gurney, and ran your fingers through your hair, using your shrug to try and hide the bulge of your belly, before you looked towards the back entrance.

"Call me later, I'm gonna use that back door and get the hell out of here."

"Whatever, snarky," Fury smirked.

"Don't get started," you warned, making your way out through the back, your gun resting securely in the waist of your stretchable pants.

Nick Fury waited a few seconds until he had made sure that you had gotten out safely from the back. He then turned around, and casually started walking out; only to come face to face with four semi to super pissed Avengers.

"Fury," Steve was the first one to break the silence; and sensing that the four had probably heard it all, Fury lost the defensiveness in his stance and took a deep breath.

"Yeah, I didn't tell any of you because she didn't want me to," he was eyeing Bucky now, who had a tight squared jaw.

"How long have you known?" He raised an eyebrow, stepping in front of Steve.

"She came to me three months back, didn't know where else to go." He stopped speaking for a split second and then, in a low voice, almost grumbled under his breath, "I told her it is always a bad idea to hook up with a colleague; look where it landed her. First, it got her married to a fucking HYDRA dick, and second, it got her pregnant with a super soldier's spawn. When does she ever listen? And you, don't even get me started. You were the bastard that knocked her up."

"Come on, Fury. That's just harsh," Natasha chimed in.

"Guys, can I talk?"

Steve, Fury, Bucky and Natasha turned towards Sam and they gave him a quizzical expression, while Bucky just glared at him.

"The thing is, those coordinates, that hacked details, what the hell was that?"

Fury's eyes widened and he clenched his fists tighter against his side, stepping closer towards Sam, "What coordinates? What hacking?"

"It looked like someone hacked into the HYDRA system, we found these coordinates, and that's why we found out the secrets that you were hiding Fury," Natasha defended Sam immediately, as she winked playfully at Bucky. This is when Fury suddenly turned, pulling out his gun, and began sprinting towards the back entrance; as quickly as his legs could carry him, bolting down the lab.

"Where the hell are you going?" Bucky followed his pace with his own grueling pace, managing to reach him in a split second, and so did the other three.

"Those hackers weren't hacking from HYDRA. It was most probably HYDRA getting into our systems, the non official ones, to find her. They've landed on a jackpot, a freaking Winter Soldier baby. And if what you're saying is true, they're here already, and Y/N is probably in trouble."

Meanwhile, this wasn't supposed to happen, not again.

No one knew of this place, then who were these men?

You slowly slid your palm into your shrug, pulling out your loaded gun. You were pregnant, but you definitely weren't a damsel in distress, and if need arose, you were going to fight the HYDRA scum. Your mind was already working on the calculations; there were four of them, and maybe, there were more. They had a plus one on you, but yet, you had an edge. They couldn't hurt you, if what they really wanted was your child.

"Никто не должен умирать. Пожалуйста, пойдем с нами, и мы не причиним тебе вреда." One of them stepped towards you, and instinctively you stepped one step back, raising your gun in the air, until you were in a face off.

"Sorry, gentlemen, I don't do Russian, my mum did nag me to learn it, but unfortunately, I never did. Can we switch to good ol' English now?" You hissed, venom in your voice.

"Miss Y/N. Let's not do that, shall we? One squeeze of a trigger from either you or my men, it's going to be a disaster," the man spoke in thick Russian accent, and you rolled your eyes, trying to look through this man's mask. This was where you made a mistake. They had orders not to kill you, but not to not hurt you. You dropped your guard for one second when this man spoke, but just when this happened, the bullet from another man's gun hit you right on your palm and your gun dropped; clattering to the ground with a loud noise, leaving your palm in a stinging, burning pain, blood spurting out of the hole the bullet had made right in the center.

In that frozen second between the stand off you saw the man's eyes flick from you to your belly and a faint nod passed between him and his men, a sort of a signal. Your faces are unreadable, no fear, no invitational smirk, just plain hatred in your eyes, and passiveness in his. One of them suddenly lunged forward, when your reflexes kicked in, and you immediately ducked, this proving to be much more difficult now. You threw out your leg, kicking the man hard in his shins until he hit the floor hard with the blow, when another one lunged at you, trying to grab you.

_Punches, kicks, hard blows._

**_You had lost to them once, and had been unable to protect your son, but this time, you were not planning on letting history repeat. You were going to fight, for your life, and you were going to protect this child, no matter what it took._ **

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

The four men and one woman soared through the hallway at the back, their guns blazing as they ran towards the back entrance from where you had just left, minutes back. Gunshots rang out from all around them now, which meant that Fury was right; HYDRA was here and you were in danger. Bucky could feel his heart beat in his chest, pounding, banging, trying to get out. He kept running forward and ahead of the others, feeling as though his blood were on fire. His limbs were moving on their own. He was disconnected from everything but the ever present sound of his drumming heart as he kicked the back door with his foot, watching it fly off its hinges and land a distance away with a crash.

The first thing their eyes fell on were the black uniformed corpses that were spread out evenly on the floor; two with a bullet mark, and two who had a gruesome bite on the side of the neck and the other one probably having had snapped his neck. But within seconds, Natasha's eyes had spotted you in a corner, sitting against the floor, your head resting against the wall at the back, your bleeding hand pressed against your chest.

Your eyes were open, your mind was awake and alert, but the adrenaline of it all was too much. You felt liberated, and free, that finally, you had managed to something you had failed in. You had, for now, saved yourself. And it was all on you.

The rest of the Avengers crowded around you, Natasha kneeling next to you as she shook you gently, her voice soft against your ears, "Are you okay? You took them out yourself?"

"Yea, I'm peachy."

Your smirk reached your eye, and everyone, including Bucky, gave you a smile back; they were all relieved. You placed your palms on the floor, in an attempt to pull yourself back up when Bucky suddenly stepped forward, leaning over you.

Your eyes met his, the second his eyes were face level with yours. The blue in his eyes looked bluer than the ocean. Six months, and you had forgotten how beautiful this man was, how beautiful, yet how broken. You placed your arm around his neck, a mutual understanding passing between the two of you, and the minute he sensed that you were securely latched to his shoulder, his metal arm held you from your waist, pulling you up to your feet until you were back up.

"Buck, we should all get back. Before they come back in more force," Steve commented, breaking the moment between the two of you.

"Well, this was nice," you drawled, absentmindedly, your hand flying up to your frenzied hair as you started curling your index finger against one of the strands. "I should leave."

"The only place you're going now is the Avengers Towers," Bucky crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at you, stepping in front of you so he could block your way.

"Did I ask you? You don't have a say in this."

"Jesus, not the two of you again." Natasha sighed, in a frustrated way, running her hands through her hair as she walked off.

"Well, that's my kid in there. I won't take a no. Now, you can voluntarily choose to come with me, back where you should be or–" He took a step closer to you, his face bent slightly so he was glaring into your eyes, not with anger, but with a look of determination.

"Or, what?"

"I'll lift you up and carry you there myself."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Just fluff, and implied confessions, a lot of baby stuff, mighty heroes being softies at heart with a baby on the way and Bucky being Bucky?

Bucky kept glancing at you, shielded from your direct gaze as you were facing the side. You didn’t know he was standing there by the entrance to the recreation room, watching you from the corner of his eyes, as Wanda leaned over you, giggling to herself, running her palm over your stomach.

“Why’d you hide this from us, Y/N?” Wanda asked you, but you kept mull, because the truth was, you didn’t have the answer to it yourself. It was many things; the fact that you didn’t want to burden Bucky, knowing very well that he wasn’t ready for this, and maybe he never will. You didn’t blame him though, it wasn’t his fault. Maybe in a parallel world, if this was the man that he used to be in 1940s, he would have been happy. Also, you were scared of this; you had lost a child once, and you were scared of losing this one too, and this time, you didn’t want to break down in front of these Mighty Heroes. Then there was the fact that you wanted to hunt them all down, one by one, that HYDRA scum and you had thought you would be able to do it since you were a freaking avenger, but this baby, with the super serum of its father running through its veins, was proving to be more difficult than you had imagined. This child kept you on your toes, and hardly let you get any sleep, it was always kicking around and squirming inside you and you were tired, sleep deprived and so exhausted, you couldn’t even tell them.

Bucky didn’t know what he was feeling; was it anxiety, fear, paranoia or elation? Perhaps it was a mix of it all. He had lost hope of living a normal life; of starting his own family, watching them grow up and have grandchildren one day. Maybe this was the beginning of it. But there was a deep rooted fear inside him. He wasn’t the same man he was; he had been a cold blooded killing machine. A monster. He was scared for the first time ever since Winter Soldier was linked to him. He was scared of the kind of life this child was going to have when they grew up. How safe would they be? And would they hate him for the things he did? Worse of all, will he even be able to be a father? It was a different thing to father a child, but an entirely different thing to be a father to a child. Worst of all, he was scared of the effect his serum would have on that child.

Bucky kept watching, his index finger resting on his chin, his hair messily falling over the side of his face. He noticed how beautiful you looked; how divine, and you were glowing. Your face looked ten shades brighter, although he did notice that for some reason, you looked exhausted, and your eyes looked strained and droopy. Bucky’s eyes trailed over your body, moving along your curves and your tresses until it landed on your stomach. He loved the way you looked, especially right now, and the fact that it was his child in there, it marveled him beyond imagination, and somehow, it pumped blood into his body, his pants already growing tight at your sight.

“You still haven’t spoken to her yet, have you?” His thoughts were broken when Steve stepped next to him, fixing himself where he was standing and the super soldiers stared at the tiny little homely scene in front of them. Who could say that the mighty Avengers could not be softies? Sam was sitting on a stool, painting your toenails, and you were laughing at a joke that Natasha had cracked. If it was any other scenario, Bucky would have wanted to smack Sam Wilson on the back of his head, but watching that soft smile draped over your lips, he didn’t want to.

“Spoken to her about what?” He asked dryly, turning towards his best friend.

Steve almost deadpanned, giving him the look, his eyes narrowed almost in disapproval, “About what this means for the two of you.”

“Punk, I don’t see how this changes anything,” Bucky mumbled, his voice cold.

“This changes everything, Buck. If this was 1940s, you would have been over the moon – “

“that’s the problem, Stevie. This ain’t 1940. And that man died that day when he fell off that fucking train.”

Steve Rogers' eyes looked like they might pop out second, and it was rare when he got angry. However right now , he was fuming. He was tired of Bucky running away from things, things that could give him a normal life. His fists clenched, his hard staring eyes glaring at the other super soldier.

“This is your problem, James. You don’t even want to try. And guess what? It’s not her fault she got dragged into this with you. Now, if you’re not going to be a man, and take responsibility for what you’ve done, then I am.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“We are going to be uncles to that kid, be there for Y/N even if you refuse to.”

“Fuck, Steve. When did I say anything about not being there for her? I brought her here, so she could be cared for.”

“And that exactly is the problem here. Only, you don’t see it,” Steve walked off, before Bucky could even ask him what he was supposed to understand from that little Captain America outburst.

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

  
It wasn’t easy growing a freaking super soldier baby inside you.

You huffed in annoyance, propping yourself up in bed, wiping the mild layer of sweat that had formed on your forehead. You had tolerated brutal punches and kicks to your ribs, and walked off with a smile on your face. You had gotten your nose broken, and you had cackled like a lunatic at the person who had broken it, but for some annoying reason, the way your back was throbbing relentlessly, you were finding it hard to find a comfortable position to sleep in.

So you slid out of bed, wrapping a robe around your swollen body, pushing your glasses over the bridge of your nose. You crept out of your apartment, making sure to close the door as quietly as you could so you didn’t wake up Bucky or Sam, who had apartments on the either side of yours. You tiptoed up to the kitchen, turning on the lights, throwing open the fridge.

You growled in frustration, pulling out items from the fridge and randomly tossing them away, on the slab, trying to look for what you were craving – Pretzels.

Annoyed, you slammed the fridge door shut, ignoring the fact that you weren’t exactly being discreet enough and dragged yourself out into the recreation room. It didn’t look like this little spawn of his father was going to let you sleep much tonight. Like father, like baby. The both of them were messing with you and your mind; the father because he was a dick, and the kid because they weren’t even here yet and they were already keeping you on your toes. You slumped in front of the TV, grabbing the remote when a drowsy figure emerged out of the shadows, her hair standing like mohawk on top of her head.

“I woke you up, didn’t I?” You asked, only to get a groan in form of a reply as Natasha propped herself next to you.

“Not really, I just woke up, thought I’d raid the kitchen but saw that the lights were on. What’s up?” She eyed you.

“Don’t even ask. That bed is uncomfortable, my back hurts like a bitch. I thought I’d satisfy these really annoying Pretzel cravings but we have none. I don’t know why this kid even likes pretzels. His dad likes pancakes and I like tortillas,” you muttered, while aimlessly flipping through the channels.

“Barnes likes pancakes? You seem to know a lot about him, well.”

You shrugged, feeling a sudden heat creep into your cheeks for no reason.

“Its nothing like that, it’s just something I’ve seen him munch on.”

“Whatever, Y/N. He’s your man, I don’t even want to comment on it. Anyway, I’m off. You carry on, I’ll see if I can ask Tony to get you pretzels tomorrow,” she hopped off the couch, stretching her arms once before she started walking away when you called out, “Nat?”

She stopped walking, turned around partly, and glanced at you.

“What was he like when the two of you were, you know – “

“You mean the Red Room.” She froze, and her arms came to cross against her chest. You saw her lips part and she was trying to find the right words, but none came out.

“He was much more colder than he is with you. You are good for him, Y/N. I was just someone that he felt solitude with. Because he was alone. But now he isn’t alone and yet, he looks at you like you’re the only one for him.”

“His words say otherwise though.” You only chuckled, and watched Natasha Romanoff leave, and your attention went back to watching the TV and you couldn’t help but wonder if Bucky still felt the same way about her, given the fact that they had history.

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

  
You slept almost all day the next day, making up for the sleepless night you had, and it was almost midday when you woke up, stretching your arms in the air. When your eyes adjusted to the lights, you noticed a maternity pillow laying on your bed. It was a bright yellow in colour, and it looked comfy as hell. You hurriedly reached out, clutching it in your palm until you had it pulled towards you. You curled up against it, nuzzling your face against its soft fabric and relaxing into the comfort that it gave you. Natasha might be a cold hearted spy for the rest of the world, but she was a softie at heart, and you loved her dearly.

You straightened your loose fitting frock, pulling it down against your thighs as you got off the bed, stroking your bump in a slow, soft motion.

The recreation room was buzzing with energy today, and the minute you stepped in, you were greeted by Natasha, and Bucky, already dressed in their uniforms, speaking to Steve. You squinted your eyes in confusion, watching the two of them, trying to listen to what they were taking about when Bucky turned towards you, meeting your gaze. You didn’t look away, and instead, gave him just the tiniest of the smiles, and much to your amazement, he reciprocated it, although it wasn’t much. You walked up to Sam, grabbing his arm and pulling him up.

“What’s going on?”

“The two of them are going on an undercover mission. Afghanistan.” Sam informed, biting into what looked like a pretzel.

“Okay, is that a fucking pretzel in your mouth?” You reached for his plate that still had one pretzel left, grabbing it before Sam could protest, and flung it into your mouth, munching on it, savoring it against your taste buds. Suddenly, you sat straighter, and again turned towards him, “Are the two of them going on the mission? Alone?”

“Whoa, hey. That’s the freaking Winter Soldier and the Black Widow. They don’t need anyone else if they’re together.”

“Really Sam?”

“Oh, I didn’t mean it that way of course.” He winked, and you turned back to watch Bucky smile slightly at something that Natasha had probably said to him, which was funny. When you looked over at Natasha, you got a jab in the arm from Sam and he chuckled, “Jealousy ain’t pretty,” he stood up and bending down to grab the empty plate, started walking off. “More pretzels?” He called out; but you weren’t listening anymore. You were walking towards Bucky and Natasha, and you didn’t know why.

“Hey, Nat? You’ve got a minute?” You chimed in, the minute you were close to the two of them.

She stopped speaking to Bucky, and her head, and his too, snapped in your direction, and she nodded, “All cool?”

“Yep.” You grabbed her arm, and pulled her away from Bucky, rather rudely and pulling her aside, you motioned towards Sam, “You got me that pillow and those pretzels, I wanted to thank you. At least there’s someone who understands.”

“Uh, Y/N, what pillow and wait, are there pretzels in the kitchen? Hey, Sam, don’t you finish them all alone – “ She left you standing there, startled, and in a daze as she scampered off, running after Sam, and you didn’t notice Steve watching you with a smile on his face, until he cleared his throat.

“Ah, Cap, I didn’t see you there.” You smiled, awkwardly.

“the lot can be a handful, especially when you get Sam and Natasha and Buck under the same room.”

Again, _Natasha and Bucky_.

“It was you, wasn’t it? That pillow in my bedroom, the pretzels in the kitchen.” You raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to reply, your hands resting on your back.

“I did have a part to play in that, but it was all him. The poor fellow didn’t have any clue so he dragged me through a lot of pillows. Until he settled on the one in your bedroom.”

“Who?” You asked.

Steve just pointed towards the door, and you turned around, noticing Bucky standing by the exit, his foot resting against the wall, as he scrolled through his phone.

“He did this? How?” You swallowed the lump forming in your throat, trying to blink away the tears bubbling in your eyes. _Fucking pregnancy hormones_.

“Probably heard you and Natasha talk about this. He’s been dragging me out ever since he woke up.”

“Steve, you know what.. I think I need to talk to him.” Steve only smiled, his smile reaching the crook of his twinkling eyes and nodded. You turned your tail, waddling all the way to where Bucky was standing, and when he looked up at who was approaching, he slid his phone away, nodding at you.

“I, uh, Buck, I – Thank you? For the pillow? And the pretzels and –“ You were blabbering, ignoring the smirk that had paved its way to his lips, the smirk that was tugging at your heartstrings.

“Its alright, doll. It’s my fault this happened.”

“Is the mission important? Can’t no one else go ?” you blurted out, and it was too late to take your words back.

Bucky dramatically tilted his head to one side, shuffling the weight of his foot from one side to another as he blinked, “Sort of. Don’t know. Clint can go. Why?”

You averted your gaze, and if it was easier for you to look down at your hands without having your tummy blocking your view , you would have noticed the way your fingers were nervously toying with each other.

“Its nothing. I just, well best of luck.” You gave him a fake, half hearted smile, and started turning away when Bucky reached for your arm, grabbing it, and pulled you to him. Your eyes closed for a split second, and when you opened them again, his face was dangerously close to yours, and your heart was strumming mindlessly against your chest. You didn’t know what to call this feeling; and the nearest that you could name it as were butterflies. Or maybe it was just your baby doing a somersault inside your tummy.

“Is everything alright with you?” He asked you, his palm flying up to your face so that he was cupping your chin, his thumb stroking your cheek.

Your tear betrayed you, and you mentally cursed yourself because James Buchanan Barnes had caught you crying, for your tear had rolled down against his thumb, “you’re worrying me now, doll. Is the baby okay?” His eyes fell to your stomach, and then back on your face.

You nodded, wiping your tear away.

“You’re going on a fucking mission with the Black Widow. And you two would be alone, I– “

You braced yourself for him to snap at you, and find words to insult you. You were so foolish. What the fuck were you thinking that you said that to him? Only he didn’t. Instead, a wide grin formed on his face and he just pulled your cheek. Wait, did he just fucking pull your cheek? You had killed people, point blank, looking them in the eye. And this man right here had just pulled your cheek like you were a fucking two year old. But then again, you should have been angry, yet you weren’t.

“Is that what’s gotten you like this? You think there’s something left between me and Natasha?” He only smiled, shaking his head.

“Natasha is beautiful, she is amazing, but.. “ he took a step away from you when he saw Natasha emerge from inside and tossed a gun in the air that Bucky managed to catch while taking backwards steps away from you, “There’s someone else for me and although she can be a pain in the ass, I can’t stop thinking about her.”

You suppressed your smile. He could tell from your blush that you felt the same way for him, and your actions, your little display of jealousy had just proved it for him. He didn’t want to admit to himself; he found the rosiness in your cheeks cute, and he definitely didn’t want to admit that he was head over heels in love with you, and you coming back into his life had only made the feeling stronger. Although it wasn’t in the most conventional way for the two of you, for people usually fell in love, got married and had babies, for the two of you it had been hate, one time sex, an unplanned pregnancy and now love. He didn’t mind it.

"Do me a favour Barnes," you smirked, as he stepped into the elevator, with Natasha, who was smirking too, her eyes flying from you to him, and then back, "And get your ass back in one piece, yeah?" Before he could reply, the elevator doors closed, but not without you having seen that nod of his head.

Now all he wanted to do was get on that fucking quinjet, get done with the fucking mission, and get back to you.


	11. Chapter 11

How on earth were you supposed to know that the mission Natasha and Bucky had gone for would be lasting for over a month? Had you known that, you would have asked them to send someone else instead. Ever since Bucky had made that tiny confession the day he left for the mission, you hadn’t been able to stop thinking of him. Especially at nights, when you went to bed at night, cuddling against the pillow that Bucky had gotten for you, you missed him. Your mornings were mostly spent with Wanda or Sam at the gym, where you practiced your yoga and a few mild exercises, while Wanda and Sam worked out their usual. It was almost five times in a week that you lazily strolled up to Steve; and tried to subtly ask Steve by making small talks with him on the updates of his mission, and when was Bucky and Natasha coming back.

It was almost 35 days later, and you stepped out of your bath, your towel wrapped around your now oversized body; droplets of water dripping off you onto the rugged floor of your warm room. You went into your closet, squinting slightly when you turned on the lights and sat down on the floor, crossing your legs underneath you, as your eyes started looking for anything you could wear for the night that was remotely comfortable. You wouldn’t lie, the past month had been a horror in terms of you wreaking havoc at the Avengers towers, screaming and blasting at others because there was nothing that you would actually fit into. Worst part of all that you felt was, Tony had decided to take a vacation with Pepper now, when he would have helped by magically filling up your closet with a wide array of loose fitting outfits by just a twirl of his magic wand.

You were, however, beyond thankful to Sam Wilson. The two of you snuck into Bucky's apartment; to steal his t-shirts at times. And tonight was one of those days.

You stepped into Bucky’s closet, your fingers skimming over the range of his t-shirts, until they landed on a soft cotton black t-shirt with a Captain America shield printed on it. You couldn’t help but giggle as you pulled it off the hanger, running your palm over the print. You locked the closet from the inside, ignoring the rummaging sounds that you could hear outside, knowing well aware that Sam was going through Bucky’s stuff again.

Sliding the t-shirt on, you looked at yourself in the mirror; a faint hint of a smile breaking out on your lips as your eyes fell on your own reflection in the live size mirror in his closet. Your hands mechanically moved to trace over the outlines of your seven month old bump, but that smile was short-lived when the baby inside squirmed and kicked your bladder hard, causing you to almost double over, gripping the counter in front of you. “Please stop, please stop squirming, I know you have your father’s energies running inside you, and you want to come on out already but that’s not happening for another two months buddy. You gotta hang in there.”

You grabbed one of his loose fitting sweatpants next, and hurriedly shoved your feet into them, struggling to pull it as much as you could so the elastic remained at the base of your belly's curve. You looked just like him, or rather, the female version of him.

You unlocked his closet, scratching the back of your head as you stepped out of the closet; waiting to come face to face with your friend, who had probably dumped the entire contents of Bucky’s bedside table drawers onto the bed. You had least expected a dozed condoms strewn over the bed, and you were ready to blast Sam out for doing that but a sudden look of startle graced your face when you saw that instead of Sam, Bucky was sitting on his bed, his eyes exhausted and droopy, yet, a look of excitement to be back home evident on his face. He has his hands on his elbows, and he was leaning forward, and the instant you stepped out, he couldn’t help but feel blown away, even more so because you were dressed in his clothes, making it a lot more intimate than he had imagined your first meet with him post the mission to be.

“Holy shit! James Buchanan Barnes!” Your hand flew to your heart, and your eyes widened in surprise, but soon, a soft smile broke out against your lips, and you could feel tears poking into your eyes.

“Hi?” He let out a soft chuckle, and stood up slowly, taking two reluctant steps towards you.

“Hi, Barnes. You’re late.” You smirked, taking two steps towards him, and then pausing to eye him, for any injuries that you could see. “Are you–“

“I’m fine, doll.” He smiled, and then crinkled his nose in the most cutest manner, before mumbling in a low voice, “Come ‘ere.” He threw open his arms, wide enough for you and your massive bump to fit in entirely, and you just let out a sob, loud enough for him to hear it, as you waddled into his embrace, burying your nose into the side of his neck.

“Jesus, Buck. I missed you.” You mumbled against the side of his neck, when his flesh arm came to rest against your back. “How’d it go?”

He slowly pulled back from your embrace, and took your wrist in his, walking with you to the side of his bed. He made you sit down against the edge of the bed, slowly lowering himself down in front on his heels and toes, looking up at you. “It was alright, we kicked some asses. Punk told me though, the not so subtle ways in which you kept trying to get information out of him.”

“Hey! I tried my best. How can you blame me? I wanted to know when you were coming back.” You giggled, toying with one of his sweaty strands of hair, twirling it around your fingers. “You’re a mess, Barnes. And you stink of sweat.” You smirked down at him, only to have him smirk back as he stood up, hooking two of his fingers against the round neck collar of the t-shirt that you were wearing, belonging to him, and tugged at it playfully, until you were slightly pulled to the front, a low gasp escaping your lips, “Barnes, you pervert!”

“Might as well let me take a shower, and then I’ll talk to ya,” he smirked before he turned away, his footsteps subsiding until the door to his bathroom slammed shut and the sound of the shower turning on reached your ears. You randomly grabbed your phone, finally deciding to text back on the messages that were pending to be replied since over a week. It was now or never, right?

By the time you were done with replying to all the texts, you heard the shower go off. Seconds later, Bucky stepped out, wearing his sweatpants, and a worn out t-shirt that looked comfy as fuck, the towel still around his neck, his hair sticking to his face . He pulled the towel off his neck, mumbling something under his breath as he started drying his hair, and at the same time, his eyes started darting all across the room, looking for something.

“Buck, what you looking for when I’m right here?” You looked at him, smugly.

“My hair tonic,” he deadpanned, “must’ve been your partner in crime, Wilson.”

You crossed your legs and sat back, your head now resting against the headboard of his bed, while your fingers stroked over the fabric over your bump, trying to calm down your baby, who was beginning to wake up from their slumber again.

“That’s the reason for your beautiful, silky locks?”

“If you weren’t the mother of my child, you’d be thrown out of my room. No one shames me for my hair treatment.” He fake scowled at you, but you could see the smirk hidden behind that scowl.

Finally, giving up, he tossed the towel away, and made his way into bed, climbing into the blanket that you had now draped over your feet. He turned to his side, his arm stretched and resting on the headboard behind you, he kept staring at you. It was the first time; you realized that the two of you were going to talk to each other, ever since you were back.

Suddenly, the silence and the anticipation was killing you. You averted your gaze, looking down at your fingers when he cleared his throat.

“This isn’t how I wanted this to go.”

“Well, I’m sorry I put a responsibility on you then – “ Bucky hadn’t even begun speaking completely, you had already started hyperventilating.

“Yeah, can we have a conversation like mature adults? Without you trying to pick a verbal fight with me?”

You just lifted your middle finger, scratching your nose with it, and gave him a scowl. He rolled his eyes, choosing to ignore it, and began speaking again, “I just – I am kind of not very opposed to this idea. Of us, having a kid together.”

“Am I dreaming or Sergeant Barnes is actually happy he knocked me up?” You unknowingly pushed yourself closer towards him, so now your side was brushing against his. However, before you could say something else, Bucky ’s lips pressed against yours and a small squeal left your lips, as a reflex for you had least anticipated this, at least not at that time. His lips were soft against yours , his kiss gentle and carefree. When he finally pulled back, he swiped his thumb over your lower lip, “You don’t shut up, do you?”

“If that is how you’re gonna shut me up, then you’re gonna have to deal with my sharp tongue for a lot longer.”

He parted his lips, almost ready to speak, but his face fell slightly, and it looked like he was contemplating how to say whatever it was that was stuck to the back of his mind. Your smug smile washed off and a look of concern filled you up, your fingers tightening against his in reflex, “Buck, you know you can say it to me. I know, the last time, we spoke to each other and bared out our life in front of each other, it didn’t go so well but I promise I am going to try my best to understand.”

“There are a lot of what ifs in the back of my mind, I just can’t seem to get past those,” his voice sounded low, and weak. It was so sad, it broke your heart.

“Buck, it’s okay. Look at me. You think I’m handling this well? Hell, I’m scared of waking up, and finding my baby taken away from me, and being experimented upon in any of HYDRA’S bases, and I won’t be able to find them.”

His eyebrow twitched, and a sudden surge of anger surged through him, and reflexively his metal arm slid through your waist and he pulled you close so you were now sitting with your bump pressed against his side, “But Buck, I also know that this kid’s got bad ass parents, who are never going to let that happen.”

He looked up at you, his eyes failing to hide his insecurities, his fears that were slowly eating at him from the inside; making him look like a vulnerable child. Hesitantly, you reached for his flesh arm, coiling your fingers against his, bringing his palm to your swollen stomach as you let it rest there. You could sense his hesitancy, but after a few seconds, you felt him relax into you, his hand now firmly placed on your bump, warmth radiating from him, “What if I suck at this? What if my super serum causes problems that our child has to deal with –“

“Bucky?” You brought your lips to his temple, kissing him softly, “I know you’re freaked out. So am I. And I know, this baby might be different, given your super serum, that I’m sure they are, no normal baby kicks like that Buck,” you chuckled, and at the same time, a loose tear escaped your eye as you hiccupped and wiped it away, “the point is. We both are and we both will have to deal with it. We bring them up like any normal baby in this world should grow up. It doesn’t matter that their parents are a freaking spy and a super soldier.”

“And they will keep coming after them, just because it’s my fucking serum running in their veins.” He said, with a look of seriousness in his eyes. You knew he was right.

“Let them. I’m ready for them, they can try all they want, but I won’t let them touch a hair on their head,” you replied back, immediately stiffening as Bucky's metal arm came to rest against the low of your back in order to calm you down.

“I won’t let that happen, love. Trust me, if they try to take what’s mine, I will pull each of them out from whichever corner of the world they're hiding and send them to hell."

“Buck,” you finally smirked, in a sudden movement as you waddled on top of him, pinning him to the headboard as he just looked at you in a daze, his jaw lightly hung at the suddenness of it all, as you sat on his abdomen, “I think my water just broke?” He looked at you in horror, “What? Already? Friday – “

“Jeez, I’m kidding Barnes, I was just trying a pick up line.”

“You what?!!” He sat up, holding you by your shoulders, looking at you in an annoyed way, “and what kind of a pick up line was that, Y/N?”

“Well, I think my water just broke, or was that just the effect of your words?”

“That was the most pathetic pick up line ever.”

“Was it, really?” You smirked, as you teasingly rolled your hip, your core brushing over the bulge in his sweatpants, his eyes momentarily closing as he pressed his head against the headboard and grunted in a hungry way, “I really do think it had an effect on you.”

“Come on, you’re seven months pregnant. What if something happens?”

“Barnes, we’re not going to fight a wrestling match. I’ll be on top.” You winked, and before the father of your baby could protest, you were already snaking your palm through the waistband of his sweatpants, “besides, you keep forgetting , this kid is not just a baby, it’s a freaking super soldier baby.”

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

The sex was amazing, and you were screaming out Bucky’s name so loud, Sam had to knock on his door screaming his ass off that the two of you needed to keep it down, for he was trying to read. You chuckled, sliding underneath the warm covers that he usually slept in. They were soft and they smelt nice, just like him.

You saw from the corner of your eye, as Bucky sat up, moving his legs out of the blanket so he could slide his slippers on. You grabbed a mound of his t-shirt , rolling the fabric into your fist, “Where are you going?”

“To get your pillow, I thought you can’t sleep without it?”

You gave him a smile and reached for his arm, trying to get him back into bed, “I have you to cuddle against, my live size pillow.”

“I don’t want to crush our baby, doll.”

You nodded, giving him a sweetest little smile as he stood up and disappeared out of his room, and within a few minutes, he was back, the yellow maternity pillow draped over his waist like a snake coiling around him. You threw out your hands like a two year old waiting to be given candy and he grinned, walking up to your side of the bed so he could place it there.

Immediately, you coiled around the pillow, curling into a ball around it, and you almost dozed off, feeling Bucky get into bed behind you, and flicking off the lamp.

You weren’t used to this, sleeping in bed, with James Buchanan Barnes, and having him snuggle into you, forming a big spoon around you, while you clung on to your pillow, and he clung on to your bump, his hand protectively holding you against him.

It was all fine and good, until your eyes jerked open in the middle of the night, and the loss of physical contact made you stir slightly in bed, as you rolled over to Bucky’s side. A smile paved its way to your lips, when you saw him almost rolled over on his front, his arm hanging the side of the bed, all the blankets having been hogged by you. Slowly, you inches closer to the Winter Soldier, slowly placing your palm on his arm, nuzzling against him slightly, “Bucky, are you awake? Mhm, wake up, Barnes, your baby wants to have a Hot chocolate fudge sundae.”

“Go to sleep, woman," he grumbled, trying to pull the pillows over his head but you just nudged him harder.

“Wake up, I’m pregnant because you didn’t use a fucking condom. And now, it’s your job to make sure your little family is fed.”

He slowly stirred , letting out a loud yawn as he slowly turned on his back, and rubbed his eyes, and then opened just one eye, grabbing your wrist so he could yank you closer, "Oh yeah? You could have asked to pull out. But you wanted to take it all. Said you could handle it."

“Fuck you, Barnes. Now can we? I know a place that’s open 24x7 where we’re gonna get what this bugger wants.”

“Cant you have pretzels? I thought they liked pretzels.”

“Yeah, that’s old news, babe. You were gone for a month.” You smirked and pushed yourself out of bed, and groaning to himself, Bucky finally sat up and grabbed the clock from his bedside table glancing at the time, before mumbling, “Good thing I love you doll it’s fucking 3 am in the morning.”

You almost slipped forward, your foot barely into your slippers. Your knees felt wobbly suddenly and you had to grab the wall for support to keep yourself upright. Bucky’s head snapped towards you and he looked at you, alarm filling him up. Within a second, he was by your side, looking down at you.

“you okay? What’s happening?”

“Did you just say you love me?”

“You just slipped Y/N.”

“Nah, that was my little display that I was shocked.”

“Holy shit, you’re so dramatic,” he lifted you off your footing; bridal style, as he made his way towards the door, but you didn’t let him step out of the door, as you lodged your foot against it.

“Put me down, Barnes.”

He smirked, “No!”

“I hate you.”

“Really?” He raised an eyebrow.

“No, you idiot. _I love you too_! Now put me down.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Bucky has a nightmare, more truths revealed, Dark Bucky Barnes, Winter Soldier mode . FYI – The dialogues in 'bold italics' are not mine. These are their quotes from the comics, just so you know :)

You welcomed this newly found relationship that had blossomed between you and the Winter Soldier. The two of you were inseparable, joint at the hip. If he was at the gym, you were somewhere around, and the two of you couldn't stop either giving giving each other googley eyes, or licking your lips at the sight of the other one; or bicker at something or the other like an old married couple. The Avengers were all used to your sassy comments now, and more so, Steve Rogers. It was funny how he had stopped chastising the two of you when you started using a derogatory language with each other. 

"Who the hell keeps their stinky socks in their shoes and does not wash them for over a week?" You threw a glare towards your boyfriend, who was engaged in a hand to hand combat with Steve. 

This was a casual scene for the Avengers now; listening to the two of you. 

Bucky grunted, muttering something under his breath as he dodged a blow from the Captain and fell to his knees, rolling over his back, trying to avoid Steve's blow. 

"Ask her, she doesn't even have that many hair on top of her head, and yet the fucking drain in my bathroom's blocked," he spat, pushing himself up on his feet as he flexed his arms and ducked, grabbing Steve by his waist and slamming him against the ground, making it look as effortless as possible.

You groaned in annoyance, filling up your palm into Sam's bowl of caramel popcorns, ignoring the way he just gave you a look of pure betrayal. 

"That was my popcorns, did you guys see that? This woman just stole my popcorns?" 

"Sam–" you turned towards him, your eyes narrowed, as you hissed, "Caramel popcorns aren't good anyway, I'm only doing you a favour by sharing these with you." 

"Sam–" He huffed under his breath, a bead of sweat trickling down his temple, as he shot a quick glance towards him and then back towards Steve, "this woman has a thing for taking over the things you love the most. She's taken over my wardrobe, and now my bed, last night, she kicked me off the fucking bed," he grunted, his arms held in front of his face as he blocked a punch from Steve. 

A series of spins, kicks, blocks and counters followed, and by the next five minutes, the two super soldiers were smirking at each other, drinking water from their chilled water bottles and made their way to where you were sprawled up on the couch, munching carelessly on the popcorns. 

"Sam, tell your friend, he doesn't have the right to complain, I would be able to fit into my own damn clothes, if he hadn't stuck his dick in me." 

"Whoa, hey! You two, knock it off. Listening to the two of you is like taking out dirty laundry, it just keeps getting dirtier," Sam commented, grabbing his bowl of popcorn, when you weren't looking and placing it on the coffee table next to him so you couldn't reach it.

To add a cherry on top of it, little Buchanan Barnes always chose to kick you hard against your ribs at just the weirdest of times. 

"Well fuck," you cursed, your face contorting as a scorching, burning pain, something that reminded you of acidity, sizzled from inside of you, and your palm instantly flew to your bump, your body almost doubling over, as the team started to crowd over you, including your boyfriend. 

"Well Barnes, I swear to God, if your spawn kicks me one more time .. _Oof_ –" you groaned again, when the rebellious little punk kicked you once again, your palm now kneading over the fabric of your.. _Bucky's_ sports fit t-shirt that you had taken over. 

Wanda giggled in glee, leaning over you so she could feel the kicks too, and so did Sam. 

Bucky just smirked, his arms crossed over his chest, as he towered over you with a look of triumph washed over his face that you managed to catch, "what you smirking at, Mister?" 

"Nothing, atleast my kid knows how to shut you up." He lowered himself next to you, his arm coming to rest around your shoulder as a peace offering and you sighed, leaning into him, letting the rest of the Avengers gush over the kicks while you just took a deep breath and groaned every time the kick became brutal and you felt an urge to slap Bucky for injecting you with his super serum swimmer.

"Pesky bugger," you muttered under your breath, watching your boyfriend grin next to you and run his flesh hand over your stomach, before quickly kissing the back of your head.

"Well, what was that for? I thought I clogged your drain." You grumbled. 

"Yeah, you do. But that doesn't mean I don't love you two." He leaned in to quickly peck on your lips before he stood up and threw out his palm towards you and you took it, stepping up to your feet, "Yeah I feel like a fucking whale," you grumbled as the two of you walked out of the recreation room, towards your apartment.

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

You pulled the blanket closer over your body, letting out a soft gush of air as you rolled over on your back. Your ears perked up when you felt slight movements next to you, and your eyes fluttered open. 

"Нет, пожалуйста, не делай этого." 

You pushed yourself up on your elbows and swiped your palm over your sleepy eyes, trying to listen to the words shooting from your left but you couldn't understand them. 

Bucky was most likely having a nightmare. 

You leant over him, gently placing your palm over his chest, and your other hand stroking over his sweaty forehead, as you tried reaching him out, "It's alright, Bucky. It's okay, baby. They can't come in here. Wake up."He stirred in his sleep, but your words seemed to be working on him; he visibly relaxed, and his breathing steadied. 

You sat hunched over him for a few more minutes, just stroking over his warm head with your fingers, but soon, your back had started hurting, and you felt the sudden urge to pee. Discreetly, you pulled back your hand, pulling the blankets over Bucky's bare chest, as you started sliding out of bed when suddenly, his metal arm found your wrist and he pulled you back, and you tried to pull your hand away, whispering to him, "Bucky, babe.. wake up please. You have to let go of me." 

You struggled to pull your wrist away but he just gripped onto it harder, and started mumbling some barely incoherent words , in Russian, "оставляй меня, Natalia." Although you couldn't figure out anything that he had whispered, you had heard just the word you never wanted to hear from Bucky's lips, Natalia. Roughly, you pulled your wrist away from his grip, and slid out of bed, tiptoeing into the bathroom and bolting the door from the inside. 

Pulling your underwear down, you lowered yourself onto the WC, and your hands flew to your head, your eyes clenched shut. Your heart was drumming inside your chest, and you were suddenly feeling not so good. 

_Natalia_.

You had a glimpse that James Buchanan Barnes knew Natasha Romanoff from his days at the Red Room, but that's all you knew. There were no details, and never did you feel the need to ask. But you couldn't help it now, it kept stinging at the back of your head, again and again, and you felt you had to know. 

"Natasha?" You knocked on her apartment door and stepped back, when you heard a groan from the inside and the shuffling of sheets, before soft footsteps reached your ears and Natasha unlocked the door, rubbing her eyes as she glanced at you, top to bottom. 

"Can we talk?" 

"Can't it wait?" She grumbled, under her breath, but a part of her knew, that this was bound to happen someday, only she hadn't realized it would be so soon. You were bound to ask questions, but neither she, nor Bucky had thought that it would be so soon.

"He called your name in his sleep, Natalia," you bit back on your tongue and looked away from her, not wanting to break down in front of her but you could see that she was looking at you with concerned, soft eyes and she had moved out of the way, so you could step into the room.You stepped into the dimly lit room, ignoring how Natasha had taken your arm and was now dragging you to her bed. 

"I knew this would happen, eventually. I didn't think it would be this soon." 

"What are the two of you hiding ? What happened at the Red Room?" Your voice came out broken, and cracked. 

"Listen Y/N," Natasha's voice was soft, as she sat down next to you, and reached for your hand, causing you to stiffen in response, but you didn't draw your hand back, you waited for her to tell you, what you didn't know yet. 

"You do know that I and Bucky were a part of the Russian Organization." 

You stared into the darkness in her room, and hummed in response. 

"Well, Barnes was one of my trainers, who trained me to become who I am today," she continued. 

You blinked, feeling your eyes start getting glossy, and you forced a laugh. 

"This is the non scandalous part of it all, isn't it?" 

"There are some things love, there is no point trying to mull over them. Whatever I had with Bucky, it's not there anymore." 

"So you had something with him." You pointed out, your lower lip trembling. 

**_"I know ..how he thinks. We were both weapons once.. to be used."_**

A sudden silence took over the two of you as you two sat there, contemplating when she slowly turned towards you. 

"You don't have anything to be worried about. James Buchanan Barnes and Natalia was a one time thing, we couldn't work out, and we realized that we worked together better as friends, and nothing more." 

You stood up, straightening Bucky's tshirt, pulling it over your thighs and Natasha followed suite, the two of you making your way towards the door. 

"Besides, it's not my place to tell Y/N, this should all come from his mouth, I hope we're good?" 

You nodded, looking at her, "yeah." You mumbled in a low voice as you stepped out of her apartment and disappeared out of her sight.

You took a little detour, up on the roof and reached Bucky's apartment almost an hour later. You had expected Bucky to be asleep, but when you stepped in, he was already getting dressed in his jacket by the mirror, and he turned, giving you a look of perplexity. 

"Where the hell have you been?" 

"I couldn't sleep." 

"You could've woken me up." 

"I tried to, but you were having a nightmare and you were calling out Natalia's name." 

The way he looked at you, it looked like the words had left him. He stared into your eyes, searching for how you were feeling, but all he could see was a hollowness inside of you. 

"Listen, I.." he began, but shut his mouth, when you looked away and slowly went to sit by the edge of the bed, withdrawing your gaze from him. It was as if you were stuck underwater, everything was slow to understand as he ran his hands through hair in exasperation. 

"There's nothing between the two of us, you know it. You know that I am in love with you." 

Although you could sense the sincerity in his words, yet , something at the back of your mind kept nagging at you. 

"Then why did you not tell me about your relationship with the Black Widow? Why did you hide it from me?" 

He was contemplating whether to walk up to you in the back of his mind. Finally, he took a step closer, and another one until he was walking up to your side of the bed and lowering himself next to you, so the both of you sat side by side, "I just didn't tell ya, because there was nothing to tell. I loved her once, but it was long time ago." 

You stood up, as fast as you could with your baby bump, your hands on your back as you glared at him, "how is it so easy for you to say you loved her? Loved? And now you live under the same roof with the woman you used to love." 

"With the woman I currently love!" 

That came out wrong, Bucky knew that you would interpret his words in the wrong way as you pressed your palm to your lips, trying to suppress the whimper that you wanted to let out. 

"Currently? Until another one comes along? And you toss me away?" 

"Jesus, you're the first woman I ever fell in love with, ever since things between me and Natalia ended," he tried to explain, trying to reach out so he could take your hand, but you crossed your arms over your chest. 

"That's supposed to make me feel better yeah?" 

Bucky took a deep breath, shutting his eyes for a brief second and looked up at you again, his eyes expressing a foreign emotion that you had never experienced before. Was it regret? Or was it the same thing that he had with Natasha and did not have with you?

" _ **A long time ago, Natalia Romanova made me remember what it was like to feel human. And they punished us both for that, in different ways,**_ " he blinked, his eyes suddenly cold, as though he was lost in a distant memory. "This is why I didn't tell you, because I didnt want you to react this way. We've all had pasts, doll." 

"Your past is sleeping on a floor below me right now, while mine is cold in his fucking grave." 

You huffed, sniffling slightly, as you grabbed your pillow, and started making your way out, when Bucky stood up, and dashed after you, slamming the door shut so you couldn't leave, "You're overreacting."

"Bucky, I am not in the mood, not right now. We're gonna talk when I've cleared my head, I'm gonna go up to the roof and just clear my head. Please don't follow me." 

He nodded, as he didn't want to make this any worse for you. He moved out of your way, and you passed through, dumping your pillow in your own apartment on your way back as you made your way up to the roof. Stars were scattered all over the sky like little snow-flakes in the night. You couldn't help but smile, feeling the wind blow your hair into a tousled mane as you pulled out your phone, and dialled Fury's number. 

_"Y/N? Is everything alright?"_

You didn't know if everything was alright; all you knew was you needed to let this all out, as it was killing you from the inside.

"Fury? Guess what, almost no one gets out of love alive." 

_"Y/N, what the hell are you talking about? Where's Barnes? What did he–"_

"I'm gonna go now. I just need to clear my head. You take care, Fury." 

_"Y/N–"_

You disconnected the call and slid your phone into your pockets. Fury, once your call was abruptly disconnected, called up Bucky, telling him everything that you had just told him. "I'm going to make your life hell Barnes, I don't know what you've done, but I swear, if anything happens to her, and you're the one responsible for it, I will make your life hell." 

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

"Hey, what's such a cute little pup like you doing out here at the park early in the morning? Don't you have a home kiddo?" A stray little pup had made its way to your bench in the park, and was now laying on its back right where your feet were, and you were tickling its belly with your fingers.

Bucky stood behind a tree, his hood drawn over his face, as he watched you. He was worried beyond anything, he was scared that what you'd told Nick Fury was something really suicidal, but here you were sitting in a park, talking to a pup. His heart broke for you, for he could see that this was affecting you badly and he should have told you all this before. But with everything that had happened so far, he could not. And now, you had found out. 

You sat back up, when you heard the sound of leaves being crushed underneath someone's boots, and Bucky stiffened, his hand flying to his gun as a reflex when he heard it too. 

Your alert eyes glared at the sudden intruders in your private space, and you stood up, your eyes narrowed towards the intruders with a look of hate in your eyes. 

"We thought it would be difficult to reach you, but you chose to walk yourself to us, what a nice surprise," the man with the Russian accent called out. 

"Dream on, I would never make it this easy for you." 

You neither had a gun, nor were you agile and flexible enough to fight them alone in a hand to hand combat. You knew you were screwed, so you had to use your mind, or maybe just run. 

You took a step away, but the man was fast, he lunged at you, trying to catch you, when a gunshot sounded from behind you and the man flew back with the impact of the bullet that pierced right through his chest. You didn't need to look back to know who it was, and a part of you was relieved to see him here. Instinctively, you turned towards him and he tossed you a spare handgun that you caught midair. 

Men in HYDRA uniforms kept coming towards the two of you, and Bucky had already pushed you behind him, forming a human shield around you with his body, while you aimed your gun, taking down as many HYDRA soldiers as you could, and he kept trying to deflect the shots that were fired towards the two of you mostly him, using his metal arm. 

"No matter what happens, you don't step into their view," he shouted at you just as you squeezed the trigger, and the bullet from your weapon hit a man's forehead, before he could shoot Bucky in his chest.

"They're too many." 

"Nothing I can't handle," his words were dark, and coated in venom and for once you didn't know who it was that you were speaking with, was it Bucky, or was it the Winter Soldier. 

At first, Bucky snapped their necks with ease. Bullets rained down on him, but he deflected them with ease, and one by one, bodies were scattered all around you. It was like he was on fire; he was growling, screaming and grunting in the most animalistic way, while you kept yourself behind him at all times, but shot anyone that you could within your range. 

However, somehow, neither Bucky, nor you noticed, that two of them had managed to creep behind your back, hidden underneath the shadow of the trees, and were now directly behind you. 

"Bucky!" You screamed, when a sudden prick in your neck caused a surge of electricity to fly through your body, and a foreign pain filled you up. You had been tasered, and Bucky was in a pool of men, trying to fight them off while you were being dragged away, your mind barely conscious as pain rang through all your body. 

The pain, however, was not from being tasered; but rather, it felt like your stomach was being stabbed brutally, and you couldn't help but cry out in anguish, kneading your fingers against the fabric that clung to your bump. The pain was so bad, you couldn't even bother rolling yourself away as the two corpses landed next to you, the minute Bucky shot them and they collapsed on either of your sides. 

You didn't know what was wrong, but something wasn't right. 

Bucky knelt in front of you now, trying to feel your body for any injuries, when you cried out loud, almost digging your nails into the flesh on his arms, "Buck, something is wrong with our baby." 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Well, I just want to apologize in advance for what you're all about to read. Your truth is revealed, not to Bucky. You are not who you think you were.

"Hey, look at me, you're alright, okay? Nothing's gonna happen," Bucky's warm flesh palm felt over your bump, and instinctively, you winced when his fingers brushed against something just underneath the base of your bump, towards the left. That's when he felt something sticky and warm in his palm. 

He was pulled into the grip of silent panic, his eyes wild and his pupils dilated as he looked at the blood coating her fingers; it was only then that he realized what had happened. You had been shot. His heart had begun to race, and his temples throbbing in an incoming headache, like a bomb that had exploded in his brain. 

"Buck.. I don't feel so good." 

"It's just a graze, love. It's nothing, trust me, yeah?" Bucky's metal arm slid underneath your thighs and in one sweep, he pulled you into his arms, and reflexively, your eyes now droopy, you let your head rest against his chest, feeling the symphony of his breaths, that seemed to be relaxing you. 

Bucky used his other hand to slide his phone out of his pocket and the first person he dialed was Steve. 

"Y/N has been shot. I'm taking her to the hospital," he looked down at you to see that your eyes were almost closed now, but you were breathing, although shallow, "it's not looking good, Steve. I need you here. I need you right now. Please." 

You let out a cough, which was more of a laugh, but it sounded like a cough as air was lodged to your throat, mumbling barely incoherent words, "Winter... Soldier, you really need Captain...America..to save your ass don't you?" He just smiled, pulling you tighter against his chest, as though you were slipping away, "Fuck Winter Soldier, you know I'm nothing without you now." You were trying ... fighting to stay awake, even more so upon hearing his words, as you clung on to your boyfriend, your hand locked around his neck. You somehow managed to open your eyes, and your eyes caught the sight of a hospital. 

"Bucky?"

He looked down at you, and a weak smile draped over his lips when he saw that you're awake. What you said to him, however, broke his heart into two and he wished that this hadn't happened to you. 

"Will you promise me something?" 

"What?" He asked. 

"If something does happen to me, make sure you don't raise this one alone, you should raise them with Natasha." 

He blinked, struggling to mask the tears that had now surfaced in his eyes as he bit down on his tongue, and shook his head. The two of you fought like cats and dogs, but he couldn't think of you not being here, even for a second.

"I would never promise you such a thing, because there's no one else I want to raise our kid with. And I mean, you." 

You parted your lips, and all that came out was a weak sounding exhale, so you just succumbed against his chest, humming slightly so he knew that you had heard him, but just didn't have the strength to reply. 

"I've seen you single-handedly take five men, and that too, pregnant. You kicked some ass that day," he chuckled, finally letting that thick, warm tear roll down against his cheek, "And if you're telling me, it's one fucking bullet that's gonna be the end of you and end of us, you're just crazy."

He tried to make talk with you, hoping the back of the mind that you will find this urge to stay awake and to fight this for him as the hospital came into view. He muttered something under his breath; pulled out his cellphone again and saw that it was Nick Fury calling him. He received it, and was instantly greeted by a bark on the other end. The call didn’t last long, but Bucky informed him of the hospital that he had taken you into and he told him that he was bringing Y/N's doctor along, as he knew all your stats and vitals. 

The instant Bucky stepped into the hallway of the hospital, a glimpse of his metal arm was enough for them to know that he was the Winter Soldier. He laid you on a gurney, and looked at the nurse who was looking down at you questioningly, “Yeah, well, my girlfriend's been shot. She’s seven months pregnant.” 

“Sergeant Barnes, you’ll have to wait here, we’ll have to take her in –“ 

Before either Bucky could reply, or the nurse could even complete her sentence, Fury and a short heighted man dashed into the hospital, and headed straight towards where Bucky was, Fury instantly bending over the gurney so he could look at you. 

“I’m her doctor,” you were wheeled into the trauma room and Fury and Bucky fixed themselves on either sides of the hallway, Bucky glancing down at his hands that were coated in your dried up blood. This was all his fault, if only he had been honest with you, honest enough that what happened today could have been avoided. 

“I told her that she was making a wrong choice.” 

Bucky’s strained, blood shot eyes lifted themselves and he fixed them on the man with the eyepatch who was leaning by the wall on the other end, as he continued speaking, “but she didn’t want to listen to me. She kept telling me that you were the best thing that had happened to her. Look where it’s gotten her now, Barnes.” 

“Fury –“ Both Bucky and Fury turned towards the source of the voice, as Steve, Natasha and Sam rushed to where the two men were, Steve leading the way. “leave him alone. Y/N is a grown woman, who can make her own decisions. Besides, how is any of this Buck’s fault?” 

“Ts alright, Punk, he’s right though –“ 

“Excuse me, Sergeant? Mr. Fury?” Y/N's doctor stepped out, his white gloves having turned bright red. 

“Doctor, is she okay? Are they okay?” Bucky mumbled as all the Avengers crowded around him. 

“Well, although things don’t look bad, the bullet did rupture the amniotic sac, which is why, we’ll have to do an emergency C - section. Sergeant, looks like you are going to meet your child sooner than you anticipated. You can go and meet her before we wheel her in.” 

“Holy shit.” Bucky took a step away, his jaw almost hanging, and his eyes wide; this felt surreal. He felt unprepared suddenly and scared. “Bucky?” Steve’s hand on his back pulled him back from his thoughts and his head snapped towards his bestfriend, Steve noticing the fearful look on his friend's face, “Want to talk about it?” 

He swallowed, looking down at his feet and then back up again, almost shaking his head, “Do you think I am ready for this Stevie? I just, I am freaking out.” 

Steve gave him a soft smile, reaching out and placing a steadying hand at the back of his friend’s neck, “You’re ready Buck. You’re just scared, but trust me, when you’ll have that little Barnes right there in your arms, you won’t feel so scared anymore. Now go and talk to her, I’m sure she needs you right now daddy.” 

“Yeah, punk. Do not say that again.” Steve just chuckled, and Bucky kept smirking as he walked towards the operation room where you were being prepped for that emergency c section.

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

You were laying down on the operation table, your fingers delicately kneading over the fabric of your hospital gown. The bullet wound had already been taken care of, but you could feel the sting from it, along with a throbbing pain radiating from inside your belly. Bucky stepped in, his eyes falling on you, and his heart almost snapped into two when he saw the state you were in. 

“I’m so fucking sorry, I’m such an idiot,” he muttered in a low voice as he made his way to you. 

“Five minutes, Sergeant.” The nurse whispered, as she stepped out, leaving you and Bucky alone inside.

He pulled the stool, lowering himself on it and placed his palm on your forehead, stroking over your warm, sweaty head. You smiled, blinking at him, your eyes coated with your tears; you weakly lifted your hand and placed it on your boyfriend’s metal hand, that was resting on your stomach. 

“How are you holding up, daddy?” You grinned, in a weak voice and he just snorted, leaning close to your face. 

“Shit scared, I am freaking out, I’ll be honest, I thought I had two months to mentally prepare myself.” 

You nodded, clasping your fingers against his metal ones. “Cold feet yeah? Listen, it’s going to be okay. Whatever happens, I know, that you’ll be there for our kid.” 

“Hey, you’re not gonna go anywhere. Don’t say that.” 

“Mhm, we don’t even have a name yet. Jesus, we are so unprepared. Are we bad parents, Buck? What are we going to call this one when they're here? Little Buchanan Barnes?” You drawled, squirming slightly so you could get a little comfortable. 

“Its time Y/N,” your doctor stepped in, and this was Bucky’s cue to leave, so he stood up, placing a chaste kiss against your sweaty forehead, whispering, "Don't worry , this doesn't make us bad parents, we didn't know that little Buchanan Barnes will want to join us early. Now I'll be outside, waiting for you to give me a healthy little mini you." He smiled down at you, before walking out of the operation theater. 

Once he had left, the doctor walked up to you, and gave you weak smile, almost shaking his head, “He deserved to know, Y/N.” 

“He would have shattered, doctor. I can’t do this to him. Besides, it is my call right? I’m asking you to save this baby's life by doing this.” 

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

“Something isn’t right, what the hell's going on in there? It’s been two hours.” Bucky ’s pacing didn’t stop, no matter how much Steve or Natasha tried to get him to calm down, and to sit and relax. Something kept bothering him at the back of his mind, something didn’t seem right. Y/N's conversation kept ringing at the back of his mind, on repeat, _whatever happens, I know, that you will be there for our kid._

However, the first cry of his little child, from inside the operation room made him forget all his fears. Steve pulled his bestfriend to his chest, clasping his back in a congratulatory way, even Nick Fury was smiling for a change. The door finally opened, and the doctor stepped out, holding a tiny, wailing bundle in his arms. Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat, his breathing hitched and he gasped, taking a step closer. The baby in the doctor's arms was so tiny, so fragile, although their face appeared squished and red like a tomato; his heart strummed inside his chest just at one look at that baby, “Is it–” 

“Its a girl, a healthy little girl.”

Who could have known that the Winter Soldier would finally break at the sight of his own daughter? Tears freely fell down his eyes, and he could feel his lips quiver as the doctor placed his little girl into his arms. He was so scared, he didn’t let his metal arm near her. It was as though she was made of glass, delicate and breakable. That morning he held his new daughter, this was the most perfect feeling he had ever known as it swept through him. He knew he would do anything in the world for her. He would be her hero, her keeper, the one who gave her cuddles and kept her safe. He would be this little girl’s Winter Soldier. 

“She is beautiful,” Natasha cooed, staring at the little girl, in awe. Although she wasn't her mother, and she could never be one, the sight of a newborn baby always made her heart swell. She placed her palm softly over the baby's fuzzy little hair, stroking over her matted black hair, “I’m sure you didn’t think of names?” 

“I – Y/N would want to name her I think,” Bucky whispered , looking down at her, and suddenly, he looked up at the doctor. “How is she? When is she going to wake up?” 

“I, uh..” 

Bucky raised his eyebrows in suspicion when the doctor didn’t answer him and instead, averted his eyes. 

“How is she?” 

After almost a minute of silence, the doctor looked down at his feet, and then back up again, mumbling in a low voice, “We, uh, we couldn’t save her. She couldn’t make it.”

What was once whole suddenly shattered and the baby that wailed in his arms, the happiness of watching her didn’t feel as warm as before. Where there was once was peace , suddenly it was just emptiness, and now her words made sense. She knew this was going to happen, but she chose not to tell him. 

“Take her, Steve.” 

“Buck, it’s –“ 

“Not now.” He growled, his eyes raging red, as he slid his baby girl into Steve’s arms; and walked out of the hospital. He didn’t know where he was going or what he was going to do, but he felt betrayed, and suddenly, left alone. 

He lost her. 

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

Five weeks later, 

“Oh, you’re one happy baby aren’t you?” Natasha looked down at the baby. She sat in the living room, the little one month old girl they now called Sasha Y/M/N Barnes, as she rocked her on her knees side by side, playing with the girl. 

“He still won’t step out of his room?” She asked, when she saw Steve dejectedly step into the recreation room and he just shook his head. 

“Let him be, he will be here when he feels he is ready.” 

“I’m here now.” A voice called out, from behind Steve, and all heads turned towards Bucky. He stepped in, his hair a mess, his eyes swollen and puffy like he hadn’t slept well in ages but he walked up straight to where Sasha was and threw out his hands towards her. Natasha stood up, gently handing him his daughter whom he immediately brought close to his chest, rocking her slightly. 

Meanwhile, a thousand miles away, in an old HYDRA base in Hungary, you stood in a room, in a center, with almost a hundred men in HYDRA uniforms surrounding you. 

“Джоанна, ты позор для ГИДРЫ.” (Johanna, you’re a disgrace to HYDRA.)

You bit your lip hard, running your hand through your short cropped hair, as you mumbled something under your breath, “ Если бы ты не продолжал посылать своих людей выслеживать нас, моя дочь была бы жива.” ( If you didn’t keep sending your men to hunt us down, my daughter would be alive.)

“Твоя работа заключалась в том, чтобы заполучить Зимнего Солдата, ни тебе это не удалось, ни ты не мог дать нам ребенка.” (Your job was to get the Winter Soldier, neither did you succeed in that, nor could you get us the baby.) 

You threw your hands in the air, exasperated, as you growled in frustration, “ Опять же, мой ребенок не умер бы, если бы один из йойренов не выстрелил в меня.” (Again, my baby wouldn’t have died if one of your men hadn't shot me.)

“Просто забери ее. И приготовь ее стереть все воспоминания.” (Just take her away. And get her ready to get all the memories wiped off.) 

You took a deep breath, but didn’t argue or protest when you felt arms grab you by your arms and started dragging you towards the lab. But your mind kept thinking of the things that you had witnessed, before they wiped it all off.

Your name was Y/N, but HYDRA named you Johanna. You were a HYDRA infiltrator, working at SHIELD undercover. James Buchanan Barnes had been your mission. You were expected to get close to him, and bring him back, but little did you know, that he will get through to you, and you will end up falling in love with him. You had exploited him, exploited his past, used the torture and the pain that he went through, and fabricated everything. There was no Danny, and no Wallis. Well, there was Wallis, but he wasn’t your real husband, just a decoy that the two of you used when on HYDRA missions. You knew you had to eliminate him, to make sure no one doubted you and that your story looked believable to all the Avengers, and so far, it worked. However, when she came into your life, your little girl, you wanted nothing more than to protect her life; and the love you felt for James Buchanan Barnes grew even stronger, making you run away in the end. But somehow , Bucky ended up finding you and bringing you back, and your plan failed. You had thought that maybe you will pull yourself out from the mess you had landed yourself into and make a home here with Bucky, and your baby, but HYDRA just kept coming back, again and again, trying to get you.

You had to do something, so you could end this once and for all. And it was only one of the two options. You could tell him the truth, of who you were and risk him throwing you out, along with your baby. Or, you could leave your baby with Bucky, and leave him so he could be with the woman who made him feel human once, Natasha Romanoff.

As for HYDRA, your super serum baby was dead, atleast that's what you told everybody. You doubted now that they would find out about her for a while now, for she was safely at the Avengers Towers, with people who could protect her. You knew that she was safe, safe with Bucky, who would love her more than any other thing in the world. And you were dead, at least for the records. At least for James Buchanan Barnes. 

It was a weird night, when thousands of miles away, in the city of Manhattan, Bucky and Natasha stepped into the penthouse suite that belonged to Tony Stark, Natasha holding your daughter against her chest as she cooed to her in Russian, stroking over her little head. Bucky had remembered the promise he never made to you, and perhaps, he owed you this much in death, so he decided to request Natasha to help him raise his little girl with him. At the same time, somewhere far away from them in an icy col base in Hungary, you were ready to be put into that memory wiping machine, and be made ready to go for your next mission, whatever it was going to be, but deep down you were at peace, knowing that the man you loved, and your beautiful little girl, were safe and together.

" _ **Till we meet again, my soldier,**_ " You smiled, and let the doctor place a metal helmet over your head and the rubber in your mouth to bite down on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, bam. I know you guys exploded. Really sorry about that. Well she's HYDRA, and he's just .. always ready to kick HYDRA's ass. Now wouldn't it be a scandal when he finds out that you're not dead? And you're actually one of them? Keep tuned, book 2 will be following this one, and it will be a much darker theme, as compared to this one. Thank you to all of you for reading this one, and for all the love! ❤️


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